Loving From a Distance
by Kat500
Summary: Sequel to 'If I Were You'... This is another sonfic except it's not a one shot. All chapters will have a song in it, though. Logan returns to Rogue's room to talk, and things go from there. Don't wanna give it all away. Please r&r!
1. I Need You Tonight

**A/N: This is a sequel to my songfic 'If I Were You' so if you have not read that yet, I suggest you do before continuing on with this one, otherwise you will be lost. Also, I have planned on having all chapters in this story to be just like this one. There will be a song in every one. Just something different that I thought I'd try out. Plus I've found so many songs that fit so well for this story that I just have to use. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please R&R. I've dedicated this story to a reader to the prequel of this story, JayJay015. I hope you like it:) Now, on with the show! Oh, and the italics indicate the song.**

**I Need You Tonight**

_(by: Nick Carter)_

Logan layed on his back in bed, Sherri sound asleep beside him, as his mind ran through the conversation with Marie he had earlier that night. She loved him, but refused to have an affair for Sherri's sake. And that made him love her even more. She was never the selfish type. She always put everyone else before her. A small smile formed on his face at the thought as he turned over onto his side. He propped his head on his hand and stared down at Sherri's sleeping form.

He mentally kicked himself for even thinking of cheating on her. He did love her, but not in the way he loved Marie. Marie was his world, but he was too stubborn and frightened to tell her and decided Sherri was second best. Which wasn't fair to her.

He softly stroked her hair away from her face and placed a light kiss on her cheek before slowly climbing out of bed. He had to talk to Marie again. He just had to. And that was all he was planning to do. Talk. Nothing else was going to happen. Because he made a vow to be loyal to Sherri. And he was going to keep it. No matter how much it broke his heart to not be with Marie.

He quietly opened up the door and walked out into the hall in only his navy blue sweat pants. He didn't care if anyone else was wandering the halls. He was on a mission. And damn it, no one got in the wolverine's way when he had his mind set on something.

Before he realized it he was standing in front of her door once again. He figured she was probably asleep from the lack of light coming from under the door. He lifted his hand and knocked twice gently on the door. He waited a few seconds and when he heard no movement, knocked again.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and wondered why all of a sudden he was so nervous. It's not like he was going to admit his undying love to her. He had already done that.

He took in a deep breath when he heard her soft footsteps move across the carpeted floor to the door. He attempted to calm his heart and his breathing when he heard the door handle slowly turn. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her standing in front of him. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a black satin night gown. And he thought she had never been more beautiful than she was now.

"Logan? What are you doing here?" She asked as her brow creased into confusion.

"Can I come in?" He asked softly.

_Open up your heart to me_

_And say what's on your mind_

_Oh, yes_

_I know that we have been_

_Through so much pain_

_But I still need you_

_In my life_

_This time_

Marie moved out of the way as she spoke, "Logan, I thought we decided..."

"We did, Marie. But I can't. God, I can't get you out of my mind or my heart. No matter how hard I try. I'm not asking you to have an affair with me. That's not why I'm here. I just... I have to be with you again. Even if it's just talking. Please, Marie. I need you. At least for tonight."

"Logan, I don't know. Talking could lead..."

"It won't. I can't let that happen. I feel like such an ass for thinking it. You're right."

"Logan." She drawled as she gripped her hand in his and led him to the bed. Logan followed unreluctantly and sat down next to her, his hand in her lap.

Rogue stared down at the rough hand she held in hers and longed to feel it on her face again. It seemed like forever before she looked back up at him, his eyes filled with yearning. The yearning to just be.

"It hurts to have you so close to me yet so far away. I'm not sure I can do this, Logan." Rogue spoke through choked tears.

"Marie, I know. It hurts me, too. But it hurts me more not being able to see you. Just talking isn't wrong, kid." Logan replied as he pulled his hand out of hers and placed it on her face.

Rogue gasped at his touch and slowly closed her eyes, relishing in the feel of it; not wanting it to go away. But her fear came true as he pulled it away and placed it in his own lap.

Rogue opened her eyes and gave a weak smile, knowing how much just being here with her meant to him and was greatful in his returning smile.

"I love you, so much." He whispered as he pulled her into his arms and held her.

"I love you." She replied as she wrapped her own arms around his waist and listened to the sound of his beating and broken heart.

_And I need you tonight_

_And I need you right now_

_I know deep within my heart_

_It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right_

_I really need you tonight_

"So, I suppose this is what happens when two stubborn people have feelings for each other, huh?" Logan asked with a hint of laughter in his voice as he tried to relieve the tension growing between the two.

Rogue laughed in return as she sat up and wiped the tears that had fallen while he held her, "yeah, I suppose so."

Rogue's smile quickly faded as she looked at him, a question filling her eyes, "Logan, what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?" He asked a bit confused.

"How are we supposed to live. Knowing how we feel about one another and yet can't act on these feelings?" Rogue answered, "It was hard enough before I knew how you felt. But now, it's damn near unbearable."

"I know, kid. And I wish I had an answer to that. But I'm just as lost as you are." Logan replied as he wiped a fallen tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"And would you stop doing that!" Rogue exclaimed as she quickly stood up and faced him.

"What?" Logan asked a bit startled.

"Stop touching me in that loving way. Stop showing me things I can't have!" Rogue answered as more tears fell down her face.

"Marie, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just... I'm trying to comfort you." Logan answered as he stood up himself.

"I know, Logan. But it hurts." Rogue whispered; running both hands through her hair.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come back. I'll go." Logan whispered as he headed for the door, but was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm.

"No. Don't go." Rogue said with saddness in her voice and eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't want to be alone. Not right now."

_I figured out_

_What to say to you_

_Sometimes the words_

_They come out_

_They come out so wrong_

_Oh, yes they do_

_And I know in time_

_That you will understand_

_That what we have_

_Is so right_

_This time_

Rogue layed down on the bed beside Logan as he wrapped an arm around her, allowing her to cuddle up beside him, her head resting on his chest. He heard the sigh that escaped her lips and he wasn't sure if it was a sound of contentment or despair.

"That tickles, kid." Logan laughed as Rogue played with the hairs on his chest.

"Sorry. They're just so soft." Rogue layed her hand flat on his chest the moment the words past his lips.

"Special conditioner." Logan joked.

"Oh, yeah. Let me guess. Especially made for chest hair?" Rogue played along.

"You guessed right." Logan replied with a smile.

"I miss this." Rogue changed the subject; once again releasing a sigh.

"What?" Logan asked, curious as to what she missed.

"This," she replied, "us joking around, cuddling, talking."

"Yeah. Me too, kid. Me too." Logan agreed as he gave her a light squeeze.

They layed there in silence for awhile, both just staring at the shadows dancing across the walls and ceiling. Rogue didn't want this night to ever end, but she knew it would. After all, nothing lasted forever. That was for sure. Except, there was one thing she knew would last. And it pained her to think it. She knew her love for him would last. And that flame would just keep growing and never die.

"I'll always love you, Logan." She then broke the silence, for some reason she needed him to know that.

"I know." He replied.

She had to choke back a sob when he didn't say it back. Did he not believe he would love her forever? Was he doubtful in that department? But before she could go deeper in that thought he spoke up, "and I'll always love you." She instantly felt a heavy weight lift off her heart at those words and breathed a sigh of relief.

She could feel her eyes growing heavy as his hand started to stroke through her silky brown hair; tickling her scalp in a relaxing way. She gave him a light squeeze around the waist to show her approval and felt his body shudder in laughter at her motions.

_And I need you tonight_

_I need you right now_

_I know deep within my heart_

_It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right_

"Marie?" Logan asked after awhile, wondering if she had maybe fallen asleep.

"Hmm?" Rogue asked sleepily.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" She asked, a little more awake.

"If I ever hurt you. I never meant..."

"Logan, no. God, no." Rogue sat up so she could see him clearer, "you were just confused about your feelings. You're the Wolverine. The Wolverine doesn't fall in love. I understand that. Trust me. Remember." Rogue tapped her temple with her right pointer finger and allowed a small smirk to form on her face.

"That's one of the reason's why I love you. You know me better than anyone else." Logan said as he pulled her back to him.

"And I love you for what you've done, Logan." Rogue responded.

"Elaborate."

"You've saved my life, Logan. More ways than one. Not many people out there would risk their life to save mine. And you've done just that." Rogue answered.

"Oh, Marie. There are plenty of people out there who would risk their life for you." Logan argued.

"You may be right about that. But, unlike you, they'd hesitate."

Logan opened his mouth to argue her point but he couldn't think of anything. She was right. He'd save her time and time again without a second thought while others would. Because they feared death. He didn't. He figured he was so old he was way past his due date, anyway. Especially after all the lethal battles he'd been in. And for someone without a healing factor such as his, there would have been nothing left of them by the end of some of those battles.

"How did I ever manage to let you pass me by?" Logan asked with a sigh.

"Stubborness." Rogue answered without even having to think.

"Ah, yeah. Now I remember."

_All those endless times_

_We tried to make it_

_Last forever more_

_And baby, I know I need you_

_Oh oh, yeah_

_I know deep within my heart_

_It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right_

_I really need you_

_Ohhhhhhh_

"Are you tired?" Logan asked after he heard her yawn.

"Mmmm... just a little." Rogue said while she yawned again.

"I should go and let you get some sleep." Logan answered as he began to sit up.

"No. Stay. Stay the night." Rogue responded as she pushed him back down.

"Marie. That's not a very good idea."

"I don't care anymore. I just want you to hold me." She said with closed eyes.

"You say that now, but in the morning you'll regret it, trust me." Logan argued again as he once again sat up.

"But..." Rogue tried to argue, but was interrupted by Logan lifting her legs and placing them under the covers.

"Are you tucking me in?" She asked with a giggle.

"Yes, darlin'." Logan answered with a smirk.

"That's funny. The Wolverine. Tucking me in. Ha." She laughed out as she snuggled closer to her pillow.

"Goodnight, Marie. I love you." Logan whispered as he placed a light kiss on her forehead before turning and heading for the door.

He silently made it back to the room he shared with Sherri and quietly closed the door behind him. He slowly climbed back into bed with his wife and wrapped an arm around her when she rolled over and snuggled into his chest. He closed his eyes to sleep as his mind wandered over to the night he just spent with Marie.

His Marie.

_I need you tonight_

_I need you oh I need you baby_

_I need you right now_

_It's gotta be with you_

_It's gotta be with you_

_I know deep within my heart_

_No it doesn't matter if it's wrong or if it's right_

_All I know is baby_

_I really need you_

_Tonight_

_Ohhhh_


	2. Punishment

**Punishment**

_(by: SheDaisy)_

The next day Rogue sat on the kitchen counter with a small tub of Ben and Jerry's fudge ice cream as she stared out the window and thought about the previous night. She really wished the feeling of guilt would leave, but she knew it wouldn't. She tried to convince herself that what they did was innocent, but she failed to do so.

Sure they talked, held each other, and nothing else, but they did it with passion. Passion and love. Also they agreed to keep it secret, and it pained her heart to go behind Sherri's back like she was. She was her friend, she wasn't supposed to do this to her. Real friends didn't steal each other's boyfriends or husbands. They were supposed to back up their friends no matter what. But then again, she didn't know Sherri well enough to be good friends, but it didn't change the way she felt. It didn't stop the guilt which flowed out her heart and through her veins.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard laughing and footsteps heading towards the kitchen. She quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen and jumped off the counter to place the ice cream back in the freezer. She turned her attention to the doorway just in time to see Logan and Sherri walk in with smiles on their faces and holding hands. She felt her eyes begin to water once more at the sight and quickly turned her back towards them as she began to rummage through the fridge; not wanting them to see her the way she was. Especially Logan.

"Hey, Rogue." Sherri greeted Rogue happily. Apparently her conversation with the chipper blonde had worked. Unfortunetly.

"Oh, uh, hi Sherri." Rogue answered as she concentrated on them once more. Hoping she was hiding her emotions well enough to converse with the couple.

"Hey, Rogue." Logan greeted quietly and it pained her heart to hear him call her by the name she had given herself. But she knew Sherri and others would get suspicious if they heard him call her by her real name.

"Logan." Rogue responded without looking at him as she grabbed a bag of Hershey kisses out of the cupboard. She was a woman in pain and she was going to comfort herself the only way she knew how. Chocolate.

She started to head out of the kitchen when Logan spoke up, "hey, where're you going?"

Rogue stopped short and slowly turned to face him, a confused and yet irritated look on her face, "away." She said slowly before she started to turn towards the door once more.

"Why don't you stay and have lunch with us?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Sherri agreed enthusiastically.

Rogue mentally glared at Logan as she smiled at him and Sherri before speaking, "that's okay. I'll pass." She said dryly before walking out of the kitchen, ignoring the calls from Logan and Sherri.

She couldn't believe he was doing this. Why wasn't he ignoring her like before? Wouldn't that make people think something was going on? Didn't he think about that? She knew then that what she allowed to happen was a mistake. She should have shoved him out of her room and told him to never come back. But a big part of her just wanted to be. To be with him, if only for that night. Well, she wasn't going to let it happen again, she couldn't. She shouldn't have even fallen in love with him, but she did.

_I thought that this was_

_Supposed to feel good_

_And if you were really mine_

_I guess it would_

_I didn't fall in love_

_As if it was the right thing to do_

_I just went ahead and fell for you_

Rogue slammed the door of her room shut behind her as she threw herself on her bed; the tears now streaming full force down her cheeks. She just wanted to run away from all this. To hide and never show her face again. Her guilty face. She didn't think seeing Sherri and knowing what had happened would effect her so much, but it had. Knowing that Sherri was blind about what was going on with her husband. Blind with love. God, she hated that word. That word made her stupid. It may have caused Sherri to go blind, but it caused her to lose a few brain cells.

She quickly grabbed a pillow and screamed into it while flailing her hands and legs in anger and frustration. She couldn't do this anymore. How could she? Before her thoughts carried any further, a soft knock sounded at her door; causing her to gasp and sit up quickly with a horrified expression plastered to her tear stained face.

"Who... who is it?" She stammered out.

"Me." She heard the rough reply and instantly knew who this 'me' was.

"Go away, Logan!" She exclaimed as she layed back down on the queen sized bed.

"No, Marie. Can I come in?" Logan replied through the door.

"Well, seeing as how I just told you to go away, I doubt it." Rogue responded sarcastically.

"Marie," Logan growled, "I'm comin' in."

"No." Rogue squeaked as she ran to the door in an attempt to hold it closed, but she wasn't fast enough.

Before she knew it, Logan was now standing in front of her with a look of worry and a bit of passion mixed in. She slowly backed away from the intense look in those hazel eyes, worried about what he had planned. Whatever it was, it was dangerous. It was in the middle of the day. Not night. Someone could come by her room at anytime. Jubes or Kitty. Jean or Ororo. And the worst person was Sherri. She could very possibly come by to see how she was doing. He shouldn't be here. No, he couldn't be here. She wouldn't allow it.

"Logan. Leave." Rogue said roughly as she pointed toward the door.

"No." Logan replied, and she could now hear the passion. Oh, this was not good.

"Logan." She drawled.

"Marie." Logan responded before grabbing her arm and pulling her toward him. Oh, this was so very not good.

"Let me go." Rogue tried to have her voice come out tough, but failed as it just came out as a whimper.

"Marie." Logan repeated in a whisper as he bent his head; closing the distance between them.

_Oh somewhere down along the line_

_I guess that love became a crime_

_This contradiction makes no sense_

_This is punishment_

_I feel like this is judgement day_

_I'll raise my hand stand up and say_

_I don't believe I'm innocent_

_This is punishment_

Rogue could feel his lips graze hers and causing shivers to go up and down her spine. Logan felt her shiver at his touch and he pulled her closer before pressing his lips to hers; groaning at the taste of her. He felt her arms wrap around him while his hands became tangled in her hair. She parted her lips slowly, granting his tongue access. With great pleasure, he quickly thrust his tongue into her mouth, exploring every inch of it. She moaned at the feel of it and the feel of being in his strong arms; digging her long nails into his back through the flannel shirt he wore. He pulled away to catch his breath and saw the glazed brown eyes looking back up at him.

"God, Marie. You taste great." Logan whispered as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Ah, sugah, so do you." Rogue complimented back. Wait, no. She couldn't be doing this. Damn it! Why did he have this effect on her?

"Logan, no. We can't do this." Rogue said quickly when she noticed he was about to kiss her again.

"Marie. Don't do this. I can't stand not being with you." Logan pleaded.

"How do you think I feel? Huh? Do you think I enjoy this?" Rogue asked as she tried to pull away from him, but he kept a firm grip.

"Logan, let me go." Rogue demanded.

"No. Marie, God, I love you. And no matter what it takes, I have to be with you. To be near you. To taste you." Logan whispered.

"But it's killing me, Logan! This sneaking around, it's just going to get us into trouble! And I already told you, I wasn't going to be your mistress. Just being held and talking last night made me feel incredibly guilty! How do you think kissing and fooling around is going to make me feel? I can't and won't do it, Logan!"

"Marie, please. Don't shut me out. I need you. You're the only one who knows me. Who really loves me for me. Not for the person they think they know." Logan pleaded once more.

"I feel the same way, Logan, I do. I will always have that feeling, no matter how hard I try to fight it, it will always be there. Same with my love for you. It'll stay in my heart til I die, but I can't act on it. Because you aren't mine. You're not free for the taking, Logan. I can't take what isn't mine." Rogue tried explaining, but every word was getting harder and harder to say as she saw his heart slowly breaking.

_Truth is your heart was_

_Never mine to take_

_Now I'm stuck in a feeling that I'll never shake_

_I prayed for it to go_

_God knows I want it to stay_

_But here I am loving you_

_Either way_

"Logan, please, don't be angry." Rogue pleaded after a long moment of silence past.

"I can't be angry at you, Marie. But I am angry at myself. I was too foolish to think that I could hide behind someone else, hoping that their love would distinguish what I felt for you." Logan replied. The words that escaped his mouth shocked Rogue. She didn't know he could be so deep. The Wolverine, deep. Huh. Who knew?

"I know." Was all Rogue could think of to say. She had said all she needed to say and now she was stumped. Clueless. A loss for words.

"Please, Marie. Give me this chance. Even if it is for a short time, I need to be with you. I need to love you."

"Logan, I can't. It hurts too much. And I feel... punished."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"For even having these feelings. I feel like this is happening to tease me. To make me feel guilty for even having these thoughts about you." Rogue explained, feeling rediculious with each word she spoke.

"Or maybe, it's a second chance."

"To be happy. Well, let me tell you, I don't feel happy in the slightest. So, I doubt it's that." Rogue responded with a hint of laughter in her voice.

"You don't know, unless you try."

"But I don't want to try. I'm not even sure I want to know!" Rogue exclaimed, backing up as Logan tried to come closer; her legs smacking into her bed. Great, cornered. Just what she needed.

"I love you, Marie." Logan whispered; picking her hand up in his and tugged on it, pulling her closer to him.

"Don't, Logan." Rogue cried; allowing tears to fall down her face, not caring anymore.

"I do." Logan reassured her.

"No." She shook her head at his words. She couldn't remember how many times she wanted to hear those words from him, but never in the whole time she yearned for it, had she imagined him to be with someone else at the time.

"Yes, I do, Marie." He argued as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You can't... we can't." Rogue whispered as she lowered her eyes to his chest.

"Marie, we can't help it." Logan explained as he lifted her chin with his hand. "At least, I know I can't."

"I can't, either." Rogue agreed with a small smile.

_Somewhere down along the line_

_I guess that love became a crime_

_This contradiction makes no sense_

_This is punishment_

_I feel like this is judgement day_

_I'll raise my hand stand up and say_

_I don't believe I'm innocent_

_This is punishment_

"Logan, what are we gonna do?" Rogue asked as she listened to his heart beat in his muscular chest.

"I don't know, Marie." Logan answered.

"It hurts."

"I know." He sighed as he hugged her closer.

"So, does this mean it's final. Are we having an affair?" Rogue asked, frightened of what the answer might be.

"Yeah, I think so."

"I'm scared. I don't want to hurt anybody." Rogue replied with a sniff as more tears fell.

"Me too, darlin'. Me too."

"But I'm telling you now, Logan. If things begin to get too out of hand, I'm ending this. Alright?" Rogue warned.

"Deal."

"Good." She pouted before lifting her head, "Well, I suppose you should get back to your wife before she comes looking for ya."

"Yeah, probably a good idea." Logan replied with a small smile; getting one in return.

"I love you." Rogue whispered as she walked toward the door and grabbed the small, round, gold handle.

"I love you, too." Logan said before leaning in and planting a quick small kiss on her lips.

"Bye, Logan." Rogue said before opening the door, the door that lead back to the real world.

"Bye, Rogue." Logan said in case there was anyone out in the hallway. It again hurt her when he said it, but more this time because he said it with no emotion. None. And it worried her a little. But she just had to tell herself that it was an act so no one would get suspicious of the two.

She smiled slowly at the man she loved before watching him walk out her door and into the hallway. She closed the door and turned to walk to her bed and continued crying where she left off; before being so rudely interrupted.

_You'll never feel all the things_

_I can't say_

_And I'll never know_

_If it's better this way_

Once she thought she couldn't cry anymore tears, Rogue walked to her desk and opened up her text book. Later that day she had a test to take and she hadn't studied for it since Logan confessed his love to her.

That's all her mind would allow her to think about. Him, and nothing else. She sighed as she picked up her pencil and took notes in the thick text book of physics. The class she hated most, but knew if she didn't pass it, she couldn't carry on with school without it. At least, not very well. Not with the direction she planned to go.

Her mind once again wandered to Logan and the kiss he had given her. It was so full of passion, lust, and most of all, love. She subconciously placed her fingers to her lips, the feeling of his still lingered there slightly. She slowly licked her lips and she could still taste him on her. And oh, how it felt good.

She had tried so many times to deny these feeling she had for him, but knew it was no use. It's nearly impossible to fight a feeling. Especially a feeling as strong as love. And she was head over heals in love with this man, no more denying it. And he was head over heals in love with her. That much was certain. She could tell by the way he looked at her and the way he kissed. But when it was the strongest was when she was in his arms. The way they circled around her body in a protective and loving manner. That's where she felt it most. In his arms.

But she longed to be able to lie in those arms where the whole world could see. To allow her to express her love to not only him, but the world itself. She just wanted to scream it out. But she knew that'd never happen. Because he was with Sherri, and everyone loved Sherri. How could they not? She was perky, happy, extremely beautiful, and everyone thought she tamed the wild wolverine. Ha. If they only knew who the real tamer was. Rogue knew it was her. Logan always returned to her, Rogue was always the reason. Of course, that's what she thought until he came back with Sherri.

_Somewhere down along the line_

_I guess that love became a crime_

_This contradiction makes no sense_

_This is punishment_

_I feel like this is judgement day_

_I'll raise my hand stand up and say_

_I don't believe I'm innocent_

_This is punishment_

As she looked at her clock, she sighed and slammed her book closed then stuffed it in her book bag. She pulled the strap on her shoulder and shut off the small desk lamp that was illuminating her work. She took one look around to make sure she had gathered everything, and when she was satisfied, walked out the door.

She ran down the stairs as she held the railing and ran out the door, she was thankful for being in college. It gave her a reason to escape the mansion. She could even use it to just go to the library and study. Or that would be her excuse at any rate.

As she quickly unlocked her car door and threw her bag in the passenger seat, she was startled by a voice behind her, "where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Scott! Hi! You, uh, scared me. I'm, uh, I'm on my way to take a test." Rogue answered as she slowly lowered her hand from her chest.

"Listen, Rogue. Can we talk?" Scott asked and Rogue instantly became frightened.

"Oh, uh, well. I really can't right now. I can't really be late." Rogue explained.

"This won't take long."

"I really can't. I'm runnin' late as it is. Can it wait 'til I get back?" Rogue asked as she placed one foot in the car and held her balance by leaning on the car door.

Scott glanced down at the cemented floor of the garage before looking back at her. "Yeah, yeah. I can do that. I'll meet you here, alright."

"Okay, great. I'll see you then." Rogue said with a smile before getting the rest of the way in the car. She floored it all the way down the drive and barely slowed down as she rounded the corner and off to her future. The future that would hopefully help her escape from all this; the mansion, the feelings, and Logan. She hoped.

_Somewhere down along the line_

_I guess that love became a crime_

_This is punishment_

_I feel like this is judgement day_

_I'll raise my hand stand up and say_

_This is punishment_

_This is punishment_

_This is punishment_

_This is punishment_

_This is_

_This is_

_This is punishment_


	3. Somewhere In Between

**Somewhere In Between**

_(by: Lifehouse)_

Logan paced back and forth in his room as he ran a hand through his hair; his thoughts wandering back to the kiss he gave Marie. He couldn't get over how she tasted and how she felt in his arms. He knew that what he was doing was wrong but he couldn't stay away from her. After all she did belong to him. And he to her. So why couldn't he stop feeling bad about this? Oh, he knew. He wasn't being loyal to Sherri. He broke his vows. All of them. He had to sort out his mind. He couldn't be feeling this way. He was the Wolverine. The Wolverine didn't have a conscience. At least he didn't before he met Marie. Then things changed. He changed. And he hadn't even realized it until his feelings for her surfaced.

He walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face as his head began to spin from all the thoughts invading his mind. He looked up into the mirror and he looked older than usual. His guilt was taking a toll on him. He growled as he roughly grabbed a towel and wiped the dripping water off his face and then threw it onto the sink in front of him.

He stormed back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed; draping one arm over his eyes as a sigh escaped his lips. Maybe they could run away together. Get away from everyone around them who would judge. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't break Sherri's heart. She still meant something to him. But Marie meant more. Which made him feel even worse. Having Marie mean more to him than his own wife. Yep. He was going to hell. Not that he ever really believed in that sort of thing, but if there were such a thing as hell, he had a front row seat.

Maybe he should have listened to Marie and not act on his feelings, but he was spontaneous. He did things at the spur of the moment, not caring about tomorrow or the day after. But now, now he felt a heavy weight of regret on his shoulders. Not for kissing Marie or acting on his feelings towards her, but for not telling her sooner how he felt. For not telling her before he met Sherri. But there was nothing he could do about that now. And now he was torn.

_I can't be losin' sleep over this, no I can't_

_And now I cannot stop pacing_

_Give me a few hours_

_I will have this all sorted out_

_If my mind would just stop racing_

_Cause I cannot stand still_

_I can't be this unsturdy_

_This cannot be happening_

Logan rolled over onto his side and stared out the window at the quarter moon that illuminated his room. Maybe he should get some sleep and then maybe things would be normal again, but he knew that wouldn't happen. That was just too easy. If only he could turn back time and tell Marie how he felt. He closed his eyes as his mind once again wandered over to what he was getting himself into. This thing with Marie was now out of his hands, but yet, he still had some sense of control over it.

He still couldn't believe Marie agreed to be with him even though he was married. He didn't mean to push her, but he just needed her. He had to be with her. And he thought the best thing to do was kiss her. Right there and then. At the time he didn't care if anyone walked in her room. He just had to taste her. And the look on her face just drew him toward her even more. Her eyes had been big and brown in both fear and surprise, her red lips parted slightly and the way her chest heaved up and down with each breath she took had driven him crazy. The animal inside just wanted to take her then and there, but the man on the outside was reasonable and stuck with just the kissing.

He groaned softly as he remembered the way her lips felt on his and the moaning she made against his mouth as he thrust his tongue in her mouth. He could feel his jeans getting tighter at the memory and shook his head of the thought. He didn't need this. Not now. He was trying to sort things out, not have fantasies about her. Although that thought did appeal to him.

He quickly sat up in bed and looked around the room for nothing in particular. He had to get out of there. Out of that room and the mansion. He quickly got up and snatched his leather jacket off the top of the dresser before walking out of the room; slamming the door behind him. He needed some fresh air and quick.

_This is over my head_

_But underneath my feet_

_Cause by tomorrow morning_

_I'll have this thing beat_

_And everything will be back_

_To the way that it was_

_I wish that it was just that easy_

He walked down to the forest; the one place he really felt at home, no thanks to the wolverine side of him. The smell of pine invaded his senses which helped him concentrate on the one thing he had tried so hard to think about. Him and Marie. And what they were doing. He knew he'd see her that night. That was a fact. He'd wait until Sherri was asleep and then sneak over to Marie's room, and hopefully things would happen more than just a kiss. He hoped it would, but at the same time, he hoped it wouldn't. Having this guilt about what he was doing to Sherri was killing him. But not being around Marie was having the same effect. Again, he was torn. Torn between Sherri and Marie.

There was no doubt that his heart belonged to Marie, but he had given his name to Sherri. He was starting to wonder which one was real and which was the dream. But the answer to that was obvious. Marie was the dream. And Sherri was real. She was the one he was with during the day, and at night, at night was when Marie would be with him. When she would be his dream.

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he sat down at the river bank. The sounds of crickets chirping and owls hooting gave a sort of peace in his heart. If only for a few moments, it was something he relished in. He needed to relax to sort out his emotions and figure this out. He had to. There wasn't much of a choice. Someone was going to get hurt in this, that was certain. He just wished it wouldn't come down to that.

_Cause I'm waiting for tonight_

_And then waiting for tomorrow_

_And I'm somewhere in between_

_What is real and just a dream_

_What is real and just a dream_

_What is real and just a dream_

He walked out of the woods in time to see Marie walk out of the garage and into the mansion. He saw Scott standing in the doorway of the garage with his hands on his hips as he watched Marie walk into the mansion. Logan's brow furrowed in confusion as to what they had been talking about, if anything and headed towards the mansion himself. He was going to give Marie a little visit and see what was going on. He wasn't suspicious of anything in between them, but he was suspicious of what Scott had talked to her about.

He walked up the steps and into the hall before ascending the steps to the floor Marie's room was located. He got to her door and lifted his hand to knock, but stopped when he heard the sound of crying.

Crying? Why was she crying? What the hell did one-eye say to her? He quickly looked to the stairs and back at her door with anger flashing in his eyes. He turned toward the stairs and ran down them, taking two steps at a time. He was going to get to the bottom of this. No matter what it took. He wanted to know what it was that made his Marie cry.

_Would you catch me if I fall_

_Out of what I fell in_

_Don't be surprised if I collapse_

_Down at your feet again_

_I don't want to run away from this_

_I know that I just don't need this_

"What the hell is your problem!" Logan exclaimed as he stormed into the garage.

Scott looked up from the bike he was working on with a confused expression on his face. He slowly stood up and placed the wrench he had been holding onto the seat of the bike; grabbing a grease stained rag to wipe off his hands.

"What are you talking about?" Scott asked as he walked around the bike towards Logan.

"Don't give me that crap, Cyke. You know what I'm talking about." Logan growled, attempting desperately to keep his claws behind his skin. At least for the moment.

"No. Actually I don't." Scott replied back.

"Marie. She's crying." Logan answered not realizing he called her by her name.

"Marie? Since when did you start calling Rogue by her real name, none the less notice her?" Scott asked, his interest piqued.

"Just answer the question." Logan snapped, avoiding the question.

"Alright, fine. I just had a little talk with her." Scott answered with a sigh as he tossed the rag onto his shoulder and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"And what would that be?" Logan asked.

"What do you care?" Scott smirked.

"I care because she's a friend." Logan growled getting irritated.

"Okay. Fair enough. I talked to her about you, Logan. I've seen what you're doing to her." Scott answered.

"And what am I doing to her?"

"You're tearing her apart, Logan. Ever since you've married Sherri, you've ignored her and haven't given her the time of day, and then all of a sudden you decided on having an affair with her. It's not fair to her, Logan. I suggest you end this now. Before it gets out of hand." Scott replied shocking Logan at his knowing of him and Marie.

"How..." Logan started but Scott shook his head and held up a hand.

"She broke down, Logan. She told me. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." Scott turned around and concentrated again on his bike.

Logan growled and turned to head out of the garage. He wasn't sure what to do now, he wanted to see Marie, but knowing how he made her feel tore his heart apart. "Just," Scott stopped Logan in the doorway, "think about other's feelings, besides your own, Logan."

_Cause I cannot stand still_

_I can't be this unsturdy_

_This cannot be happening, yeah_

_Cause I'm waiting for tonight_

_And then waiting for tomorrow_

_And I'm somewhere in between_

_What is real and just a dream_

_What is real and just a dream_

_What is real and just a dream_

_What is real and just a dream_


	4. The Girl In My Mirror

_**A/N: I want to thank all of you for your reviews! It means the world to me, you have no idea. I was extremely self-conscience about this story because it was something different for me. So, again, thank you all! Special thanks to JayJay015 for the song suggestion. I was looking for a song for that but I couldn't find one that I thought fit very well. And that one fits perfectly. So, thank you for giving me that, you saved me loads of time. :)**_

_**And if anyone else has an epiphany for this story while listening to music, just let me know. Alright, now, on with the show! I hope you like it, I had a hard time writing it, especially at the end.**_

**The Girl in My Mirror**

_(by: Britney Spears)_

Rogue rested her body against the frame of the window, her arms crossed in front of her, as she stared out to the garage. She could see Logan arguing with Scott over something, and she had a pretty good feeling it had to do with her. She sighed as she averted her eyes to the never-ending trees ahead of her; she right away noticed her reflection more than she had the trees and the way the moonlight hit her, the window could almost be a mirror. She could make out every little detail of her face. Especially the tear trails on her blushed cheeks.

She released another sigh as she once again focused her attention more on her reflection. She could see the sadness and pain in her eyes. God, there was so much of it she was surprised she hadn't died from a broken heart. Yeah. She had Logan. But not completely. She was sharing him. And it hurt. She loved Logan with all of her heart, but it was tearing her up inside. Out of all the times she imagined finally being with him, it wasn't secret. She could tell her friends; she could tell anybody. Now, the only person who knew besides her and Logan, was Scott. And she hadn't meant to tell him, but it was all too much for her. She couldn't lie to Scott. They had become very close since Jean died. He became her best friend after Logan started ignoring her. He could see how much she hurt and she was grateful for it. He was a shoulder for her to cry on and he spent the wedding day with her instead of actually going. Though she knew he wouldn't have gone even if they weren't friends. Face it. Logan and Scott weren't really considered buddies. Far from it. Mortal enemies to be more precise.

She watched her tear's reflection in the window as her thoughts carried her deeper and deeper into what she was doing with Logan. And how he made her feel. She didn't want to be doing this, but she didn't want to make the mistake again of letting him pass by as she had done before. But she hadn't realized how much it would hurt. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her, she could barely remember a time where she was truly happy. She guessed it was when she first met Logan. Or maybe it was on Liberty Island. No, that wasn't it. Cause soon after he had left her. Though she knew in her heart he'd be back. It had to have been when she met him. When he took her in when, if she were anyone else, he would have left them there on the snowy road. That's when it happened. That's when she fell for him. She hadn't known it at the time, but now that she looked back on it, there was no doubt in her mind. She thought it happened on Liberty Island, but no, that's just where it grew stronger.

_There's a girl in my mirror_

_I wonder who she is_

_Sometimes I think I know her_

_Sometimes I really wish I did_

_There's a story in her eyes_

_Lullabies and goodbyes_

_When she's lookin' back at me_

_I can tell her heart is broken easily_

Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention and she looked back at the garage just in time to see Logan head back to the mansion. She couldn't see his face but she could tell by the way he walked and how his hands were clenched in fists that he wasn't happy. She allowed more tears to fall at what Scott had told him. There could have only been one thing they were talking about in order for Logan to get like that. Her. Her and Logan. Even though it was Scott and he tended to grate on Logan's nerves, he never really got under his skin unless it were serious. And, according to Logan, their relationship was serious. But she wasn't so sure. How could an affair be considered serious? Especially to Logan. Yeah, they loved each other, but that didn't give them the right to call their relationship serious. Logan and Sherri were considered serious. They were married after all. That's about as serious as anyone can get.

She released a small, sarcastic laugh while shaking her head and looking at her feet that rested on the carpeted floor below. She slowly looked back into the eyes in the window and wished there was something, anything to fill those pained eyes with joy again. No matter how long she stared at the girl in front of her, she still couldn't find a trace of what used to be. Both Marie and Rogue were dying, and it was all because of the feelings that grew in her heart for a man who wasn't and, would never fully be, hers. She angrily wiped the tears that were falling fast down her face, ashamed for allowing her emotions to get the better of her. She slowly raised a shaky hand to the glass and touched the reflection of her cheek, the glass cold against her warm skin. She followed the trail of the tears with her finger and gave her reflection a reassuring smile, getting one in return. The smile slowly faded as she placed her arm back across her chest, bumping her head against the frame while closing her eyes. These past few days had been exhausting for her, and she just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. Things would be easier that way. Better. She wouldn't have to deal with all of this.

She slowly opened her eyes to be welcomed by droplets of rain smacking against her window, the ryhthmic sound slightly soothing her restless soul and her aching heart. She allowed a smile to form on her face as she listened to the soft patter of the rain. She had always loved the rain. Especially the sound of it at night when she'd go to sleep. To her it was relaxing and it was the best sound she had ever heard. She remembered her Momma told her it was because when she was pregnant with her it rained almost once a week. She knew the story was just to make her feel special and that it wasn't true. But as she had seen in a movie before called Secondhand Lions, and she liked to stick to this quote, just because something ain't true doesn't mean you can't believe it's true. She smiled as she thought about that quote and wished it would work on the situation she was in now. She wished she could believe the truth was her and Logan were together, without the affair and without Sherri being in the picture. But she knew it wouldn't help her here. No matter how much she wished it did.

_Cause the girl in my mirror_

_Is cryin' out tonight_

_And there's nothing I can tell her_

_To make her feel alright_

_Oh, the girl in my mirror_

_Is crying cause of you_

_And I wish there was something_

_Something I could do_

Rogue's thoughts wandered back to her friendship with Scott. She felt slightly relieved that he knew what was going on between her and Logan. Maybe she could get some advice from him. But she already knew what it would be. End it. End it now before people got hurt. Especially her. He was protective of her, sometimes it seemed more so than Logan used to be. A smile formed on her face when she remembered a time where she went out on a date and Scott practically interrogated the poor guy. Striking fear into his heart. Scott had told her he just wanted what was best for her. She joked around with him by calling him Dad and he warned her not to call him that again or she was gonna get it, causing her to laugh in return. He always gave her empty threats, but she always gave him a reason to. He also made her promise to call him so he could pick her up at her school when she stayed a little later than planned. He didn't want her walking a dark empty street to the bus alone. Again, she was grateful. She didn't know what she'd do without him. Probably go nuts with all that was going on.

She looked back at her reflection and could see fear sharing those eyes with pain and sadness. Fear that she might get caught having an affair with Logan. Fear that this won't last forever. Fear that she would lose Logan in the end. And the fear of being completely alone. Even though she already felt alone, even though she had a great friend and Logan supposedly loved her, she had never in her life felt more alone. Maybe it was because she had this huge secret and couldn't tell another soul without the risk of them telling someone what was going on. She looked back down at the garage and released a small gasp when she noticed Scott was looking up at her; giving her an eerie feeling. Although she knew there was no reason for it, with the person being Scott and all, but it still gave her the feeling nonetheless.

She slowly raised her hand in a wave and got one in return before she turned away from the window to her bed. Sleep. She needed sleep so she could think better. Sleepiness never did help with that and her eyelids were starting to feel like weights. She walked into the bathroom to change into her pajamas and brush her teeth and that was where she saw her face a little clearer. The window gave pity on her, making her look less miserable than she really was. But the mirror. The mirror told her the truth of what lied behind those brown eyes. And she didn't like it. Her eyes showed her love, loss, pain, anger, and sadness. All mixed as one. She kept her eyes off her reflection as she brushed her teeth. Once she was done she hurried out of the bathroom and slowly climbed into her empty bed. She longed to feel arms around her and hold her close. Preferably Logan's, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. At least not tonight.

_If I could I would tell her_

_Not to be afraid_

_The pain that she's feeling_

_The sense of loneliness will fade_

_So dry your tears and rest assured_

_Love will find you like before_

_When she's looking back at me_

_I know nothing really works that easily_

She stared at the ceiling as she thought about the look in her reflection. Did she always look like that? Now that her and Logan were having an affair, was it obvious how she was feeling? If that were so, then she was going to have to do something and quick before someone figured her out. She blamed Logan fully for how she was feeling. She had tried to fight her feelings and him but he was a persistent bastard. And it was so difficult to resist that man. What with the way he smelled, cigars and a little bit of leather from that jacket he wore; the way he looked, you could tell he was a man who thrived for danger; and last but not least the way he looked at her; a look of love, lust, want and need. It was too much for her and extremely difficult for her to resist. Oh, and can't forget the feel of his muscles and his strong arms holding her close and tight against him. Yeah. That was nice. No, Rogue! Bad, Rogue! Get your mind out of the gutter!

She rolled over onto her stomach and screamed into the pillow after the thoughts of her being with him crossed her mind. She couldn't being thinking like that. She just couldn't. She had to concentrate on what she was going to do. If anything. Again, maybe she should ask Scott for some advice. Maybe he could help clear her head a little. At least enough so she could think straight. Yeah, that's what she would do, she'd ask her best friend. Plus, she was sure she'd need to cry and in return get a little comfort, and his shoulder was just perfect for the job. No application required. Yeah she gave Scott crap for being uptight but only in a loving and joking matter. He teased her about things too. He still wouldn't let her live down the time on her 21st birthday when she went out with him and some other friends to drink and how she had just one shot too many and ended up giving him a lap dance. He would constantly and randomly ask for another and she would just blush and find a rock to hide under. She still couldn't believe she had done that. That was definitely not like her. But then again alcohol did do weird things to people. She was just glad to find out she was a frisky drunk and not a mean one. Though she still couldn't figure out which was worse.

She rolled over onto her side, facing the window that once held her reflection, and squeezed her pillow tight to her and allowed more tears to fall and soak through the white cotton fabric of the pillow. This was not at all how she imagined her time with Logan to be. Not even in the slightest. She imagined being happy and so in love it made her glow. Instead she was extremely depressed and she was nothing more than a slight dim, the light in her slowly fading to black.

_Cause the girl in my mirror_

_Is crying out tonight_

_And there's nothing I can tell her_

_To make her feel alright_

_Oh, the girl in my mirror_

_Is crying cause of you_

_And I wish there was something_

_I wish there was something_

_Oh, I wish there was something_

_I could do_

She allowed her eyes to close shut as she listened to the constant patter of the rain against her window, sighing as the sound relaxed her. Thankful for the release of tension in her muscles, and began to welcome the emptiness sleep usually gave her. Hoping being hope that tonight would be nothing but darkness. She didn't want to dream about anything, more accurately, dream about her and Logan. That was the last thing she wanted. Her mind showing her things she couldn't have. Things that were only arms length but never reachable. That was the way she felt from the moment she met the man. She couldn't touch him then because of her skin and the fear of telling him her feelings and now because he belonged to another. What Logan was doing, was ripping her heart out and stomping on it before placing it back again, only to repeat it. By now her heart had to be nothing but mush. Not broken. No. Because a broken heart could be put back together. A puddle could not. And that's exactly what her heart was becoming. Nothing but a puddle.

As she drifted off to sleep, her mind wandered back once more to the face in the window and seeing it was her was almost beyond belief. She hadn't thought it was possible for her, or anyone for that matter, to become so lost in pain and sadness. But apparently she proved herself wrong. Her theory now shattered. Again, the happy-go-lucky girl was gone and dead. And most likely to never be seen again. It would take a miracle for her to come back. Maybe more.

_I can't believe it's what I see_

_That the girl in the mirror_

_The girl in the mirror_

_Is me_

_I can't believe what I see, oh_

_The girl in my mirror_

_The girl in my mirror_

_Is me_

_Oh, is me_

Rogue was almost asleep when a soft knock sounded at her door. Debating on whether to answer it or ignore it she turned to look at her dark, closed door which hid who stood behind it. Deciding on the latter, she rolled back on her side and closed her eyes. She figured it was Logan and she couldn't imagine being able to deal with him at the moment. She was too emotional and she didn't want anybody to see her like she was. And Logan was no exception. She was too lost in thought and sliping into sleep to hear the sound of her door opening. As she slipped further and further away from reality, she barely noticed the movement on her bed as someone slipped in beside her, lifting her covers in the process.

She mumbled something incoherent when she felt a warm strong arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to them. She cuddled closer to her pillow and placed her own arm around the one around her waist, sighing in contentment. She heard whispering and, because of the lack of conciousness, couldn't place who it belonged to. Finally, giving in to the sleep that threatened to take her, she fully relaxed and drifted away to the darkness she hoped for.

_Cause the girl in my mirror_

_Is crying out tonight_

_And there's nothing I can tell her_

_To make her feel alright_

_Oh, the girl in my mirror_

_Is crying cause of you_

_And I wish there was something_

_I wish there was something_

_Oh, I wish there was something_

_I could do_


	5. You Don't Know

**You Don't Know**

_(by: 98 Degrees)_

_Oh, no_

_Oh, my love_

Scott watched as Logan stalked up the driveway towards the mansion, he knew Logan wouldn't tell him how he truly felt. Not verbally anyway, but he knew how the man felt. Hell, he felt it himself. He was in love with her. Helplessly so. He hadn't meant for it to happen but they had been there for one another when no one else would be. It made the bond between them stronger and harder to break. He just couldn't understand how Logan could love her so much yet break her heart in such a horrible way. In his mind it was the worst thing anyone could do. Logan was teasing her. Showing her things that she could only see but never touch. And this time it wasn't because her skin played the barrier. It was the other woman Logan was with. It was his wife who had suddenly and unknowingly became the barrier.

Scott looked up to the sky when he felt a small rain drop land on his head; quickly looking down again when another landed on the lens of his red sunglasses. He didn't bother to go back into the garage for protection from the rain just yet, he wanted to relish in the cold feeling it brought. He wasn't sure why, maybe it helped with the aching in his heart for the love he had for Rogue. The aching that she didn't know or even share his feelings.

He looked up to her bedroom window and saw the sad girl staring out at it, or rather staring at it. He watched as she lifted her hand to the glass and lightly trailed her finger down it, sadness in her eyes. He wished he could take all the pain she had away and replace it with love. His love. Logan didn't deserve her, not with the way he was treating her. He always thought of Logan as a selfish bastard and this just proved his opinion to be more fact. He didn't care if he was tearing Rogue's heart apart, just as long as he had her, he was content. Scott slowly lifted his hand to wave at Rogue when he knew he was caught staring, getting one in return. He watched as the young brunette retreated away from the window, a little shocked at finding him staring, and it hurt him even more. He didn't want that kind of reaction from her, he wanted to see her smiling everytime she looked at him. And not just for love of a friend. But more.

_Who could know the emptiness inside_

_Everytime I see your face_

_Too many feelings left behind_

_Do you wonder why_

_I turn away when you look at me_

_Never wanting your eyes to see_

_This desperate heart _

_That knows how perfect we could be_

Scott entered the garage once more, his thoughts still on Rogue and his love for her. He wanted so much to tell her how he felt, but was too afraid. He didn't want to ruin the wonderful friendship they had built. He knew where her heart lied. But it didn't stop the way he felt. He had tried so despretaley to deny these feelings by thinking up reasons not to, but everytime he did, he always found himself finding reasons to love her. He smiled to himself as the image of her face crossed his mind. God, she was beautiful. A natural beauty. Not many women could get away with no make-up and still look down right perfect. But Rogue could. Oh, and she did it well. She also had a glow about her. At least she did before Logan started doing this to her.

Earlier that night when he asked to talk to her, he planned on telling her how he felt, but when she broke down and cried he couldn't bring himself to. The only thing he could do was hold her and comfort her, like he had done so many times before. He wanted to talk some sense into her, to try and talk her into ending things with Logan, but she was stubborn, probably from the little bit of Logan that was left in her head. And when Logan came to see him he had to fight back the urge to punch the bastard in the face. Adamantium skeleton or no. It didn't matter to him. Not when it came to Rogue. He was fiercely protective of her. And he vowed to continue being so. He looked up from his bike when he heard footsteps enter the garage, in hopes of finding Rogue standing there. But his hopes were crushed when he saw the white haired goddess before him.

"Ororo. Hi. What are you doing here?" Scott asked, surprising her in the process.

"Scott! You scared me!" Ororo exclaimed as she put a hand to her now fast-paced beating heart.

"Sorry." Scott apologized with a small smile.

"I'm getting something from the car. What are you still doing here? You don't normally work on your bike this late unless something's on your..." Ororo trailed off as realization dawned on her. "Scott what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Scott stated bluntly as he took a wrench to his bike, not really paying attention to what he was working on.

"Since when did you start fixing the exhaust pipe with a wrench?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh, I..." Scott noticed what the white haired woman was talking about and stood up, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans.

"Talk to me Scott." She demanded and sat down on a small table near by, her leather pants squeaking in protest to her movements.

"What's there to talk about?" Scott asked as he placed the wrench back into the tool box.

"Give her time." Ororo said with a knowing smile. She was always inquisitive.

" 'Ro..." Scott started but was stopped by Storm.

"Scott, don't play stupid with me. I know how you feel about Rogue. It doesn't take a genious to see it."

"I never thought I could feel like this again. Especially to Rogue. I mean she's... I don't know. She's a wonderful friend but..."

"She doesn't feel the same?" Ororo asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." He agreed with a sigh while running a greasy hand through his hair.

"How do you know if you don't tell her." Ororo stated more of a point than a question.

"I'm afraid if she doesn't, it'll ruin the friendship." Scott answered as he turned to her.

"Or make it stronger."

"I can't risk it."

"But if you don't you'll be wondering, 'what if'." Ororo countered as she went to her car and dug through it, coming out with a small handful of cd's.

"Go and talk to her, Scott. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could've happened if you told her." Ororo patted her friend on the shoulder before leaving him alone in the garage.

_Baby, cause you don't know_

_How I feel_

_Livin' my life without you_

_Baby and you don't know_

_What it's like_

_Lovin' you all this time_

Scott stood in the garage, thinking about what his friend had just told him. She was right and he knew it. He just wasn't sure he could bring himself to do it. It was a big leap to take and the fall was long and hard. Possibly lethal to his heart if she didn't feel the same. He was also afraid she just may view him as her way out of things with her and Logan. Which, maybe, wouldn't be bad. It'd make her happy again, hopefully. But then he'd just feel used. He shook his head at the thought, knowing Rogue wasn't like that. She wasn't selfish. She always put people before her, no matter what problems she had. Of course, she had never been in such a heart wrenching situation before. So, yeah, maybe her using him to get out would be okay with him. He did want to help her. To make her happy again, and if that did it, then he would welcome her with open arms. And maybe, with time, she would grow to love him. Maybe.

He shut off the lights to the garage and closed the doors, locked them, and slowly walked up to the mansion. His mind still torn between taking Ororo's advice and listening to the constant racket his conscience was making. Causing him to have a tremendous headache in the process. He rubbed his forehead with his right hand as he walked into the kitchen in search of a light snack and something to drink. He hadn't eaten or drank anything all day, hence one of the reasons for his headache. But he gathered the main source was from too much thinking.

He opened up the cabinet doors and grabbed a box of toasted crackers, pulling out the package of wheat crackers and started munching on them as he searched the refrigerator for something to drink. Holding a half eaten cracker in his mouth, he pulled out the carton of orange juice and poured it into the glass he set on the counter by the box of crackers. Leaning against the counter he continued munching and drinking as he again thought about Rogue. The woman was constantly on his mind, literally. She was the one person he thought about when he woke up, the one person he thought about when he went to sleep, and the one person he thought about during the time in between. She was haunting him. And if he didn't do something soon, he was going to go mad.

_I'll give you all my love_

_Heart and soul_

_Riskin' it all on a chance_

_And now when I need you the most_

_You don't know_

_Oh, woah, oh no_

_All I ever wanted in this world_

_And baby I found in you_

_I never felt this way before_

_Girl I can't break through_

_And now I lie awake_

_Alone at night_

_So afraid now to close my eyes_

_Just one more dream of you_

_I'll carry here inside_

He put the snacks away and walked down the hall toward the stairs. His body ached from working on the bike all day. Literally. It helped him think and to get his mind off of what was bothering him. At least it usually did. But not this time. He couldn't concentrate enough on the bike to get anything done. Everytime he even attempted concentration, her face would pop up and again he'd be lost. Destracted from getting anything accomplished on his beauty. But now he had a new beauty to concentrate on. That much was certain. His mind wouldn't leave him alone until he gave into working things out with her.

He stretched his back muscles and rubbed the back of his neck as he entered his room. God, it was empty now that Jean was gone. It still heart but the crushing pain his heart felt had now become a dull ache. When his grief first started to dissipate he began to worry and had come to hate himself for it. But that was before he had become friends with Rogue. She helped him grieve. Gave him a shoulder to cry on and a smile to cheer him up. He did the same for her when she found out Logan was getting married and then another when he started ignoring her. And then tonight when she confessed to having an affair with the Wolverine. Scott saw red when Rogue told him that. And not just from his sunglasses. He didn't see red because he was jealous. He saw it because it was tearing Rogue apart. Tearing her into shreds to the possible point of no return.

_Baby, cause you don't know, how I feel_

_Livin' my life without you_

_Baby and you don't know_

_What it's like_

_Lovin' you all this time_

He entered the bathroom and ran his hands under the nearly scolding hot water of the sink to wash all the grease that had built up during his day of fixing the bike. Fixing a bike that didn't need fixing. But he had to do something. Anything to keep his mind off the girl he loved. But he failed to do so. He often found himself more staring at the bike rather than working on it. He would start tightening a bolt only to suddenly find the wrench resting on the cold cemented floor at his feet. No recollection of how it happened.

Scott walked back into the darkened bedroom and sat on the bed to take off his shoes. Staring at the wall as he did so. He really wanted to take Ororo's advice and admit to Rogue how he felt. He wanted to take that chance. But he was terrified. No, beyond terrified. Petrified was more like it. How was it possible to tell your best friend you loved them, without the possible chance of losing them for good because of it? There wasn't any way around that, he knew. But it didn't hurt to wish there was. If he lost Rogue completely, he didn't know what he'd do. He would have then lost both women he loved, and he wasn't sure he could bare the pain. That pain would be worse than her not knowing at all. But if he wanted to concentrate completely on things and not risk the lives of his team, then he had to. If he lost concentration on his bike, then there was no doubting he would on a mission as well. And that just wasn't acceptable.

He turned his upper body to the night stand by his bed to look at the clock. Noticing it was a quarter past one. He turned back around, looking at the floor while biting his lip in thought. She would be asleep by now, no doubt. But he had to do it now before he lost his nerve. He quickly got up off the bed and ran out of the room.

_I'll give you all my love_

_Heart and soul_

_Riskin' it all on a chance, yeah_

_And now when I need you the most_

_You don't know, oh no_

_You don't know, baby_

A couple floors and a couple hallways later he found himself standing in front of her door. Okay, he was here now. He had to do this. There was no turning back now. He lifted his hand and lightly knocked on the door, hoping beyond hope she was alone and that Logan wasn't in there with her. He didn't know what he'd do if he found him there. When there was no answer at the door he slowly turned the doorknob and pushed the door in; peaking his head around the corner to find Rogue lying in the bed, her back to him. He swallowed a lump that formed in his throat. He wasn't real sure what to do. He was tempted to turn around and leave, and act like he hadn't even come there, but his persistent side decided to come out and play and shoved him further into her room.

He quietly closed the door behind him and tiptoed to her bed, standing above her for a few seconds before pulling the covers back, allowing him access to her bed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. But this way he would wake up with her beside him and he'd have to explain himself to her. There would be no way out. Unless, of course, he woke up before her. No, he would have to wait for her to wake up.

He took a deep breath as he shifted to his side and wrapped an arm around her waist; smiling as she grabbed it and hugged it tighter to him while sighing in contentment. He hugged her slightly and whispered in her ear, "shh, go to sleep." Knowing she was too far gone to register it was him talking to her. There would be plenty of that come morning. His heart began to pace faster and faster as he played over in his head how the outcome would be. He hoped it'd be good. He didn't want pillows thown at him and being yelled to get out while she looked at him with disgust. That was definately not how he wanted things to go. He hoped she would see him, smile and possibly snuggle closer to him as he hugged her tighter to him. He hoped.

_And I would hold you all through the night_

_I would stay right by your side, baby_

_And I'd give you the world_

_If your love was mine_

_Now baby could it be_

_I'm only dreamin'_

_Don't let it pass me by_

He took one final deep breath as he closed his eyes, the sent of her shampoo invading his senses, bringing a smile to his face. This was how he wanted every night to be. With her in his arms and her scent wafting off her and into his nose. She smelt of vanilla and what he thought could've been lavander. He squeezed her waist a little tighter and snuggled his face into the back of her neck and closed his eyes, lost in the smell of her.

He loved everything about her. There was absolutely no flawes that he could find. Even if there were, he'd probably love her even more for them. The only flaw she had before was her mutation. But now that she had that under control she was absolutely perfect. Whoever said nobody's perfect, definitely hadn't met Rogue. If they had, that thought would have never crossed their minds. She was living proof that there was such a thing as perfect. What with her milky white skin and her long brown hair along with the shocking white streaks in the front and her figure was perfect. All curves. And her smile. God, how her smile made him melt. It was so bright and full of life.

As he drifted off to sleep; his mind fell into the vision of Rogue. The perfect woman in his life. The perfect woman who he loved and would always love. Whether she returned her feelings or not. He would continue to love her until the day he died. And he vowed to find some way to make her happy. Whether it be with him or someone else. As long as it wasn't Logan.

_Baby, cause you don't know, how I feel_

_Livin' my life without you_

_Baby and you don't know_

_What it's like_

_Lovin' you all this time_

_I'd give you all my love_

_Heart and soul_

_Riskin' it all on a chance, baby_

_And now when I need you the most_

_You don't know_

_Oh woah oh no_

_Baby, you don't know_


	6. Tomorrow

**_A/N:_ Thanks again for all of your reviews. It means the world to me. I had no idea I'd get so many readers for this story. You all make feel good about it, thank you. And, sorry for taking so long with this one, I've been busy watching a sick nephew. :( But during his naps I've been able to write. Well, anyway, here you are. And sorry if it's so short. Apparently when I tried writing, my muse went on vacation. Damn muse. Anyway, on with the story. I hope you like.**

**Tomorrow**

_(by: Avril Lavigne)_

Rogue woke up the next morning, her eyes feeling swollen and her nose stuffy. She also had a pounding headache piercing through her skull. She released a small moan as she put a hand to her head. God, it felt like she had a massive hangover. She rolled over onto her back, smacking something with her elbow in the process. Causing it to move. She turned her head to look and her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets from the sight. A bare chested Scott. What was a bare chested Scott doing in her room? Or in her bed for that matter? Did something happen last night that she couldn't remember? Oh, this wasn't good. What was she supposed to do now? Should she wake him? No, sneak out of the room. Yeah that's what she would do. She slowly slipped out of the bed; careful not to move it too much in fear of waking him, and started heading to the bathroom where she could change. Cause there was no way she was leaving in her pajamas.

"Where're you going?" She heard Scott ask. Damn, not quick enough.

She quickly turned around to face him with a smile planted on her face. "Scott! You're awake!"

"Been awake for some time actually. So, where are you going?" He asked her again. Damn those glasses.

"Bathroom." She answered with a point to the bathroom door with her thumb.

"Come back to bed." He demanded and her smile faltered.

"Scott. Did we... I mean, did I..."

"Rogue. Calm down. No, nothing happened. I came in here after you fell asleep." Scott answered, laughing at her slightly. She was cute when she was nervous.

"Why?" Rogue asked as she walked up to the bed and sat down next to Scott.

"Rogue," Scott started, grabbing her hand in his, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you. But I was afraid."

"Scott. What is it? You know you can tell me anything." Rogue assured him.

"I know. But this is different." Scott said as he licked his lips. Rogue just looked at him with her brown eyes as she waited for him to elaborate.

"Rogue, I... God, I..." Scott stammered.

"Scott just..." Before Rogue could finish the sentence, she found her lips on Scott's. She blinked her eyes a few times in disbelief before closing them completely in satisfaction. She released a small moan as Scott pulled her closer. The kiss was ended sooner than Rogue would have liked but Scott needed to look at her. To see what was in her eyes.

"Scott. Wh... what... I mean... that was..." Rogue stammered as she licked her lips. The taste of Scott still lingering.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just...I love you, Rogue. I have for awhile now, I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Y... you love me?" Rogue asked in shock.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." Scott said with a slight head nod.

"Scott I don't know what to say." Rogue replied as she got up; running a hand through her long brown hair.

"I love you, too, is a good start." Scott replied, his heart beating faster.

"Scott. I don't know. I don't think... God, it's too much." Rogue said with a sigh. This was the last thing she needed right now. She already had enough to deal with, she didn't need to hear Scott tell her he loved her.

_And I wanna believe you_

_When you tell me_

_That it'll be okay_

_Yeah, I try to believe you_

_But I don't_

"Rogue, look. I know this was probably one of the worst times I could've told you. But I had to. It's been on my mind every day and night. Hell, you've been on my mind. All I can think about is you." Scott said as he got up out of the bed and stood behind her; placing his hands on her upper arms.

"Scott. It's just too much for me to take in right now. Plus, this thing with Logan..."

"Leave him, Rogue. He doesn't deserve you. Nothing will be okay until this thing between you and him is ended. And only you can do it. No one else can." Scott replied.

"Scott, it's not that easy. I love him. I'm sorry, but I do. I've loved him for years, and now that I finally have him, I'm afraid to let him go. I know it's crazy. I do. But it scares me seeing my life without him in it." Rogue replied, for once thankful for the sunglasses on Scott's face. Not wanting to see what his eyes showed.

"Rogue, you deserve so much more than what he's giving you."

"I don't care about what I deserve! All I care about is being with him. It's hurts when I'm not around him."

"And, let me guess, it hurts when you are?"

Rogue stared up at him, tears in her eyes, not real sure how to answer his question. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she already had.

"It's okay. You don't have to answer that. I know how you feel." Scott said when she didn't say anything.

"Scott..." Rogue started but stopped when Scott shook his head.

"No. Don't. I don't think I can listen to this anymore." Scott said as he walked to the door.

"Scott. Wait!" Rogue exclaimed, afraid that if he walked out that door she would lose the friendship she had built with him.

"No, Rogue! I love you, but all you can do is rub Logan in my face more! I can't do it!" Scott exclaimed; surprising Rogue in the process.

"I don't want to lose you over this." Rogue whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks; Scott turned to face her and the anger on his face suddenly turned to sympathy. "I can't lose you." Rogue finished as she allowed Scott to pull her into his arms; holding her tight.

_When you say that it's gonna be_

_It always turns out to be a different way_

_I try to believe you_

_Not today, today, today, today, today_

After a few moments of her in his arms, listening to her small cries, he lifted her head to look at him and his heart nearly broke at the sight. There was hardly anything left of the girl he once knew. She was dying inside and it was a painful sight to see. And apparently he was the only one who could see it. Logan was too pig headed and selfish to notice for himself what was happening to her. He had to get her out of the situation she was in. And soon.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and he shook his head to silence her; allowing a small, reassuring smile to spread across his face.

"Don't be. I'm sorry. I know how difficult all this is. And I was just thinking about what I wanted and not what you needed." Scott replied.

"Scott. I do love you. But, I know, not in the way you'd like. I just... I don't know anymore what I feel. Or even how I'll feel. Every night when I go to bed, I hope to wake up the next day feeling the way I used to when I first came to this school and started making some friends. I was a happy, carefree, teenage girl. But, then again, I guess I'm no longer a teenager, huh?" Rogue said the last word with a laugh.

"Most definitely not." Scott agreed as he looked her up and down.

"Scott!" Rogue exclaimed in surprise at his actions.

"What? You're beautiful." Scott replied with a mischievious smile.

"Scott. Don't." Rogue pleaded when she saw the smile.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything." Scott assured her.

Rogue smiled at him in appreciation. He was always sweet to her and now, looking back on it, there were things he did to show her he loved her. She was just too lost in her feelings for Logan to notice them. He would by her gifts for no special occasion and would take her to beautiful places just because he felt like it. She needed a mental kick, stat!

"Scott, I'm so sorry." Rogue apologized once the realization dawned on her.

"For what?" Scott asked confused.

"For not noticing before. All the things you did to show me you loved me. But I was too blind and stupid to notice. I thought you were just being a wondeful friend. But you were trying to be more."

"Don't be sorry. I wasn't expecting you to notice. I did those things because I love you. Whether at the time you knew it or not. Just to see the sparkle in your eye, or the skip in you step was enough for me."

"I have a skip in my step?" Rogue turned the serious conversation to a joking one.

"Well, okay, maybe not literally." Scott answered with a smirk.

"Good, cause then I'd be paranoid. I was never a great skipper. I always looked like I was limping." Rogue confessed to the time when she first attempted skipping when she was a kid.

"Well, that'd be a sight to see." Scott joked.

"Shut up, Scott." Rogue playfully shoved him; Scott grabbed her arm in the process and pulled her close to him.

Both of their smiles faltered as they looked at each other, their breathing becoming shallower and faster. Scott lifted his other hand to where it clasped her free arm, pulling her even closer to him. Rogue felt her heart rate speed up and her mouth became increasingly dry. Her stomach turned into knots and butterflies fluttered around those knots. She couldn't being feeling this way. It was Scott, her best friend since Logan abandoned her. She didn't want to risk their friendship. Scott bowed his head and started to close the distance between them.

_I don't know how I'll feel_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_And I don't know what to say_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Is a different day_

_Tomorrow_

Rogue placed a gentle hand on his chest and lightly shoved as she shook her head in protest. She looked sorrowfully up at him and though she couldn't see his eyes; she knew they held pain. Pain from rejection.

"Scott I'm sorry. I... I can't do this. I want to. Don't get me wrong, I do. But... I need some time to think. T... to sort things out." Rogue explained and was relieved to see a smile form on his face.

"Okay." Was all the response she got from him before he turned around to leave.

"Scott! Wait!" Rogue exclaimed. Scott once again stopped at the door before turning to look at her.

"Are you mad?" She then asked; the feeling of fear growing stronger.

Scott looked up at the ceiling, inhaled deeply, and looked back at her. They just stared at one another before he finally spoke, "no, Rogue, I'm not. Not at you. I'm upset with the situation." She smiled at him before he finally turned and left the room.

As soon as her door closed behind him her smile quickly vanished; turning into a frown. That wasn't the answer she was hoping for. She hoped he would understand the whole thing. She didn't want to just up and leave Logan. She loved him. And he loved her. She couldn't do that to him. No matter what she deserved. Logan deserved so much more than she did. He had a hard and trying life. But then again, the situation he was giving her was almost just as bad. Maybe Scott was right. Maybe she should leave him. Afterall, what future could they possibly have together? He was married, for cyring out loud. And there was no way she was going to allow him to leave Sherri for her. That was out of the question.

_It's always been up to you_

_It's turning around it's up to me_

_I'm gonna do what I have to do_

_Just don't_

_Give me a little time_

_Leave me alone a little while_

_Maybe it's not too late_

_Not today, today, today, today, today_

As soon as Scott walked out the door he came face to face with the one person he did not want to see that day. Logan. He sent the Wolverine a glare behind his red shades and got one in return.

"Scooter. What are you doing here?" Logan asked; getting extremely suspicious of finding a shirtless Scott come out of Marie's room.

"Visiting with Rogue. What are you doing here?" Scott echoed.

"Same. But at least I'm fully clothed." Logan shot back.

"Oh. For how long?"

"Watch it, bub." Logan spoke through clenched teeth as he held back his claws.

"Don't worry, Logan. I didn't do anything with her." Scott said as he walked around Logan, "no matter how much I'd have liked to." He finished with barely a whisper.

"What?" Logan asked, not sure he heard him right.

"I said I know how you wouldn't like that." Scott lied before walking away. His anger rising.

Logan glared at the retreating form before him; the wheels in his head turning as he wondered what went on between Marie and Scott. Before he could go too deep in thought, he pulled himself out and turned to knock on the door of Marie's room.

_I don't know how I'll feel_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_And I don't know what to say_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Is a different day_

Rogue pulled open a couple drawers from her dresser and started to pick out the clothes she would wear that day. It was a fairly warm day out so she decided on something light. She was so happy about her skin being under control, she didn't have to wear numerous layers and amounts of clothing on hot days anymore. She could wear what ever she wanted. And show lots of skin. She smiled as she pulled out a pine green spaghetti strap tank top and a white thigh lenght skirt; setting them neatly on her dresser as she walked over to make her bed.

She fluffed her pillows and pulled the covers up and smoothed out the wrinkles before walking back to her dresser to grab her clothes. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Setting the clothes on the bathroom counter, she walked to the tub and turned on the steaming hot water; stripping down and stepping under the spray. She sighed in relief as the hot water prickled her skin and massaged it at the same time.

Oh, how she needed this. She couldn't remember the last time she had relaxed. Fully relaxed. Probably before Logan had returned with Sherri. Ever since his return she had always been tense. Especially when she saw the couple together. Her muscles would automatically tighten under her skin and she would find herself digging her nails into her palms. Yep. She definitely had some of Logan left in her.

Once she was done with the washing and rinsing of her hair and body; she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel out of the cupboard by the counter. As she went to grab her clothes, she sighed in frustration as she realized she forgot her under garments.

Wrapping the towel around her body and grabbing the perspirated covered handle of the bathroom door; she swung it open and stormed out of the bathroom, stopping mid step at who she found waiting on her bed.

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_Hey yeah, yeah_

_And I know I'm not ready_

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_Maybe tomorrow_

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_And I know I'm not ready_

_Hey, yeah, yeah_

_Hey yeah, yeah_

_Maybe tomorrow_

"Logan? What are you..."

"Waiting for you. You look good." Logan answered with a raised eyebrow and a predatory smirk on his face.

"No. You need to get out." Rogue replied as she gripped the towel around her tighter.

"Why in such a hurry for me to leave?" Logan asked as he got up out of the bed.

"First of all, I'm not dressed. And second. It's morning. Where's Sherri?" Rogue answered, backing away from Logan as he stepped closer.

"Shopping with Ororo. No worries." Logan replied.

"No. Plenty of worries. There are more people in this mansion, Logan." Rogue was starting to panic. She knew that look. She had always known that look. He used to give it to Jean all the time.

"But their oblivious, Marie." Logan replied.

"Logan, please, don't." Rogue begged and released a small gasp when she found her back against the wall. Trapped. Just like prey.

Logan's smile grew when he knew he had her; placing his hands on either side of her he bent his head down and pressed his lips passionately to hers and pressed his body against hers. Rogue, forgetting about everything else, wrapped her arms around his neck; yearing for more of him.

With a low growl, Logan wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up away from the wall; only to throw her on the bed. Causing her to giggle in return. She squealed as he jumped in with her, only to find his hands exploring her. She was lost from all thought as his lips found hers again, bring her nothing but bliss.

_And I wanna believe you_

_When you tell me that it'll be okay_

_Yeah, I try to believe you_

_Not today, today, today, today, today_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_


	7. Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad

**A/N: Again, thank youall forthe reviews. It really feeds my muse. My muse likes being fed. Hehee... anyway.Thankyou toJayJay015 for the song suggestion! It is highly appreciated. Again, if any of you have song suggestions that you think would be good for this story, even though you don't know exactly where it's going, let me know. Thanks again, and on with the show!**

**Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad**

_(by: Def Leppard) (Suggested by: JayJay015)_

Later that night, Logan found himself once again beside Marie in her bed. They had made love like crazy earlier that day, and he just had to come back for more. She was incredible. Perfect. Just like he had imagined. He stroked her hair as he felt her soft breath slightly move the hairs on his chest. He could tell by the sound of her breathing that she was awake. She had been quiet for some time now and he was beginning to worry. What was she thinking? What was going on in that little head of hers? He wanted to ask her those questions, but was too afraid to hear what the answers may be. He was afraid she'd tell him it was all a mistake. That they shouldn't be doing this. And the worst thing he feared was to hear her say she didn't want him. That she couldn't be with him. He wasn't sure his heart could handle her saying those words. He lightly squeezed her in hopes of getting some sort of response, but got none. As he inhaled deeply, he prepared himself to ask the questions that he knew had to be asked.

"Marie." He whispered.

"Hmmm."

"Talk to me." He demanded avoiding any sort of question.

"About what?" She asked, saddness in her voice.

"What are you thinking about?" It was weird, he was usually the one who answered those questions. He never asked them. All the women he had been with wanted more than just sex with him, they gave off the impression that that was all they wanted when they came up to him, but after-wards they became clingy. And he didn't like it. Now he was the clingy one. But he didn't want to let his Marie go. Not without a fight.

"Nothing." Was her response.

"Liar. Talk to me, Marie." Rogue looked up from her place on his chest, pulling the covers close to her body so as to not reveal anything to him, although it wasn't something he hadn't seen.

"I don't like what we're doing, Logan." She answered as she tried to hold back the tears. Earlier that day and later that night she was willing to give herself to him. Because she wanted to escape to the bliss that his love making would surely bring. And she was right, but afterwards she regreted it. He had been surprised to find out she was still a virgin and she had wanted to tell him she waited for him, but it would have been a lie. She just couldn't bring herself to get close to anyone else. It hurt too much.

"Marie." Logan whispered as he placed his forehead against hers, stroking the back of her head.

"Logan it hurts. I know I've said this before, but I can't get this feeling out of me." She replied, letting the tears fall.

"Don't push me away, Marie." He begged, tightening his grip on the hair in his grasp, afraid of her pulling away.

"Logan, it's a..." She started but was interrupted by Logan's lips on hers. Quick but still passionate.

"Don't, Marie. Don't tell me it's a mistake."

"Well, what else can I call it, Logan? Because you know it's true. This whole thing was a bad idea, and you know it." She sat up more, pulling the covers even tighter.

"No, Marie. I could never think of being with you as a mistake. Do you have any idea how long I've thought of this moment as just a fantasy of mine and that's all it would be?" He was becoming frantic. He wasn't liking where she was going with this.

"Logan, I know. But haven't your fantasies been under better circumstances? Where you could tell the whole world who you loved? Because I know I have, and not being able to do that is tearing me up inside." Rogue countered.

"I don't think I could lose you again. It's happened too many times and I'm not going to let it happen again." Logan responeded, practically ignoring what she said as he once again pressed his lips to hers; slowly pushing her back down to the mattress.

_Here I am_

_I'm in the wrong bed again_

_It's a game I just can't win_

_There you are_

_Breathing soft on my skin_

_Still you won't let me in_

Logan slowly moved ontop of her; wanting to make her forget everything around them and knew this was the only way that would happen. He wasn't liking where the conversation was going and wasn't willing to hear the rest of it. He knew she was going to bring up breaking off their little engagement and he really didn't want to let that happen. Yeah, he may be a little selfish, but he practically lived without her for quite sometime and now that she was back, he wasn't letting her go.

He slid his hand up her side; his hands feeling rough against her smooth skin as he used his other hand to stroke the side of her face as he kissed her. Craving and yearning more of her. She knew he was doing this to keep her quiet, but she really couldn't complain. How can you argue with a man when his muscular figure was ontop of you and caressing every part of your body. There was no way she could think straight when he did this. But she wanted to take this time to talk. Yeah, she was being very woman like, but these were very important circumstances.

So she placed a hand on his chest a pushed slightly, allowing a chance for her to break the kiss. He looked down at her with lust filled eyes, but they were filled also with love. She had to fight back the urge to cry at seeing this. She had wanted him to look at her for so long and now that she finally got it, she didn't want it. Not like this. She didn't want the feel of guilt fill her from just receiving that look. But she did.

"Marie, please." He begged in barely a whisper. If they hadn't been so close she was certain she wouldn't have heard that plea.

"No, Logan. I don't think we..." She started, but stopped when she felt a tear fall on her cheek. And it wasn't hers.

_Why save your kisses for a rainy day_

_Baby let the moment take your heart away_

"Don't do this to me baby, please." Logan pleaded, fully aware of the tears he was crying, but he didn't care. Normally he would have. But it was Marie. His Marie. He could share everything with her. Including his emotions. No, especially his emotions.

"I'm sorry, Logan. But it's getting too hard. And it hurts too much. I love you. Don't think I don't, cause I do. And I want you, but it's just not going to work out like this. I'm sorry."

"Marie, no. We can make it work. We... we could leave. Get away from here. To Canada or something. Away from everyone where it would be just..." He stopped when he saw her shaking her head in disagreement.

"We can't do that."

"Why not?" Logan wanted answers. He wanted to find someway from keeping her from leaving him. From running away.

"Logan." She said in a voice filled with sympathy as she wiped away the tears that were falling. She really didn't want to hurt him. But she knew she had to leave. She couldn't be with him any longer and not be happy. She wanted to be able to be happy while with him and she knew that wasn't going to happen. And she knew now that she came first. In order to be with anyone and be happy, she had to concentrate on herself for a while. She had to get her life in order.

"No, no, no." He whispered as he gripped her shoulders in an attempt to keep her with him.

"I think you should leave." Rogue whispered as she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face at her words. She slowly opened them again when she felt no movement and no words were spoken. She noticed he was no longer staring at her but at the mattress under her. His brow was furrowed in thought and for a splight second, she was truly terrified of him. She was afraid that at her words, the Wolverine took over. But her fear vanished when his hazel eyes met her brown ones once again. They were filled with sadness and defeat and she had to fight back the urge to take back what she had said. She knew she was doing the right thing, deep down she knew this. But it didn't make things any easier.

"I'm sorry, Logan." She whispered as he averted his gaze away from her again. At her words he quickly looked back at her before growling in return; fiercely getting up off the bed. She knew now that the Wolverine was on the verge of taking over the man and she didn't want to be around when it happened. It was never a pretty sight.

She climbed out of bed, pulling the sheet with her, and stood behind the slumped figure; lightly placing a hand on his shoulder only to flinch away when he whipped his head to the side and growled; staring at her from the corner of his eye. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before quickly heading for the bathroom. She stopped at the door and turned to look at him; noting the clenched fists and the rise and fall of his back as he took in fast shallow breaths. She slowly lowered her gaze to the carpeted floor below before turning back to the bathroom; leaving a broken Wolverine in her bedroom.

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah_

_Have you ever wanted someone_

_You just couldn't have_

_Did you ever try so hard_

_That your world just fell apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad_

_And you're the girl I gotta have_

_I gotta have you, baby, yeah_

Logan turned at the sound of the door latching into the frame. He knew he was acting irrational, but he didn't want to let her go. He wanted her to be his. Hell, she was his. Always had been. And he wished she always would be, but knew she wouldn't allow it. She had made up her mind. But the animal inside demanded of him to try harder. And he obliged. Walking over to the bathroom door, he knocked on the door in front of him. He wasn't going to make this easy for her. He wasn't going to let her go without a fight. The Wolverine never gave into defeat that easily, and he wasn't going to start now. He released a low growl when he heard her tell him to go away and that she didn't want to see him. If it came down to it, he would break down the door. But he didn't have to when on the first rap and on the second knock the door flung open to reveal an angry Rogue wrapped up now in a white cotton robe.

"Go away, Logan." She demanded; her face holding resolve.

"No."

"Yes." She mocked.

"I'm not letting you go that easily, Marie."

"You don't have much of a choice." Rogue replied wtih shock in her voice at what he said. It wasn't filled with teasing or lust like normal. It was filled with dominance. He was determined to make her his. And she knew at that moment she was no longer looking at Logan, but at the animal that hid beneath.

"You're mine, Marie. You belong with me." He said forcefully.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you went and married Sherri." Rogue gave him a look of disbelief and disrespect. How could she respect him when he was like this? It was worse than your man coming home drunk. He _was_ drunk. But it wasn't alcohol. It was animalisitc fury. His mate was leaving the pack, and he wasn't happy about it. Rogue started to close the door but was stopped by Logan's hand on it. She noted the flare in his nostrils and the way his head was slightly bent, glaring at her, and his teeth bare. It was definitely the wolverine she was looking at, there was no mistaking it.

"Marie." He growled low, but didn't faze her. She was used to this. She'd seen it so many times before. Of course wolverine never came out around her before, but it still didn't faze her. Sure, she felt a little fear, but not enough to make her lose her train of thought.

"Logan." Marie mocked again, getting a growl in return.

"I'm not letting you go." He growled again.

Marie breathed deep before walking back into her room. She stormed over to her dresser and pulled out the small drawer of her jewelry box ontop of it. She slowly pulled out a long chain with someting attached to it. She walked back over to where she left Logan standing, and grabbed his hand like he had done so many years ago to her. She placed the tag into his palm and closed his hand around it, again, just like he had done to her.

"I don't want you to come back." She whispered as she looked up at him, and him down at her, "and I'm not coming back." Logan furrowed his brow in confusion to her words, wondering what she had meant by that. But before he could ask she raised a hand to silence him.

"I'm not only leaving you, Logan. I'm leaving the mansion. It's the only way I can really be happy." Rogue noticed her act had caused the man to resurface and was thankful for it.

"Marie." Logan shook his head and tried to give back the tag but was unsuccessful as she pulled her hand out of his grasp.

"No, Logan. I can't be here anymore. There's just too many memories. And there are more painful ones than there are happy ones. It's too much for me. I have to leave." Rogue responded.

"Where?" Logan wanted to know. Needed to know. Maybe, when she left, he'd be able to track her down and bring her back. Maybe.

"I don't know yet. I haven't thought that far. I just decided this tonight." Rogue answered with a small smile as she placed a gentle hand on his face. She never knew she'd see the day when she was stronger than him. He cupped his hand around the one on his face and closed his eyes, wanting to remember the feel of her skin on his.

"I love you, Logan." She whispered and he opened his eyes in time to see her pull away from him and head back into the bathroom. As she closed the door behind her, he walked up to it and placed a hand to the door and leaned his head against the hard wood.

"I love you, too." He whispered before pushing away. He pulled on his clothes and exited out into the hallway.

_There you go_

_Midnight promises again_

_But they're broken by the dawn_

_You wanna go further_

_Faster every day, baby_

_But in the morning you'll be gone_

_And I'm alone_

Rogue sat on her bathroom floor, the palms of her hands covering her face as pools of tears filled them. She had been fine until she heard the soft 'I love you, too' come from the other side of the door. She knew he had done it loud enough just to make her question her imagination. But she knew it was him saying it and not her mind. It tore her heart apart, but this was what she had to do. There was no choice unless she wanted to be miserable for the rest of her life. She loved the man with all her heart, but she couldn't be with him in this manner. It just wasn't exceptable, and she was finally fully realizing it.

Her thoughts wandered back to Scott and what he had told her. Maybe being with him was the right path to take. Maybe she could convince him to come with her. No. She shook her head. She couldn't. She couldn't be in a relationship until she found herself. Yep, she was going to do some soul searching. Whatever that meant. But she needed to find herself again. To find out who she was. She knew at that moment the only reason why she was majoring in science was because that's what Jean was. A scientist. And if maybe she became one too, it would get Logan's attention. But she had gotten his attention too late. After he was married to Sherri.

She slowly climbed off the cold tiled floor of the bathroom and headed back into her room. She wasn't sure she could sleep in that bed again. At least not tonight. It would, without a doubt, smell like him. And she wasn't so sure she could take it. She scanned her bedroom, not real sure what she was looking for, before grabbing a pair of pajamas and pulled them on; rushing out the door without shutting off the lights.

_Why save your kisses for a rainy day_

_Baby let the moment take your heart away_

Logan wandered around the halls of the mansion like he used to the years before. He rubbed his forehead in exhaustion, but he wasn't ready to go to bed just yet. He wasn't sure if he could see his wife's face yet. Marie was right, he knew. But it didn't dull the pain. She was leaving him. And it was his fault. If he had expressed his feelings toward her when he first felt them, then she'd be with him. Everyone would know they were together. He would've seen to it by threatening any boy in the school with a low menacing growl if they even thought about looking at his Marie. But no. He couldn't do that now. He had messed up. Big time. And now it was too late and he couldn't turn back the clock. No matter how much he wished he could. Maybe he should talk to Scooter. Get his perspective on things. Logan quickly shook that idea from his head. What was he thinking? He knew Scott wouldn't help him even if his own life depended on it. Plus, well, it was Scott.

He found himself in the doorway of the kitchen and peered inside; noticing the brunette with white strips in the front of her hair digging into a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and wondered how she hadn't gotten down there before him before realizing he had been wandering the place for over an hour. Logan smiled to himself. He remembered back when they were just friends and she would sit on the sofa with him watching hockey and eating ice cream. Her favorite ice cream. There was one incident when he came home one day with the wrong ice cream; causing her to give him grief for it and refused to eat it; which then resulted into a huge ice cream fight where they both ended up wearing it on their heads. He had accidentally started it by dropping a spoonful of the stuff on her favorite dark green blouse when he tried to force it into her mouth. She shrieked at him before picking it up off her shirt and threw it at him, hitting him square in the forehead, causing her to break out into fits of laughter until it was thrown back at her.

Logan cleared his throat as he entered the kitchen; causing Rogue to look up with a startled expression on her face. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw who it was, but still remained tense none-the-less. She gave him a weak smile before she conitnued her digging of the ice cream, as if she were searching for gold. He sat down on a stool on the other side of the counter; clasping his hands together as he stared intently at her. He knew this grated on her nerves. Making her feel uneasy and unsure about herself. He noticed his tactic working when she kept fumbling with the spoon. Finally frustrated with the utensil, she threw it into her stuffed bowl and threw the tub back into the freezer. She picked up her bowl and was about to leave when she made the mistake of making eye contact with him. She stumbled over herself and dropped the bowl of ice cream all over the floor and her pajamas, causing a few words to escape her lips. Logan smirked at the situation, knowing it was all because of him. Feeling at least a little guilty, he walked around the counter and grabbed a wad of paper towels to clean up the mess she made. Or he made rather.

"Butterfingers." He mumbled as he walked past her before knealing down on the floor. He could feel her glare on the back of his head, but he didn't really care. He liked it.

"What are ya doin'?" Rogue asked, her drawl coming out full force. Oh, yeah. He was starting to make her nervous. It never showed this much unless she was nervous.

"Helping you clean up your mess." Logan replied, keeping his eyes on the job at hand.

"Ah see that. And that's not what Ah meant."

"What did you mean?" Logan asked as he got up and placed the dark brown, once white, paper towel into the garbage can.

"Ya have that... 'Ah have a plan' look on yer face." Rogue answered as she used air quotes at her words.

"No plan. Close your eyes." Logan ordered.

"Logan..."

"Close your eyes." He ordered again, this time she did as she was told and closed her eyes. She gasped as she felt his hands brush both sides of her neck before going around to meet at the back. Almost as fast as they were there they were gone again. Without permission she opened her eyes and looked at him with a confused look on her face.

"Keep it." He said before leaving the kitchen. Rogue looked at the empty doorway confused before looking down. Draping around her neck was the dog tag. She allowed a small smile to form on her face. He gave her something to remember him by.

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah_

_Have you ever wanted someone_

_You just couldn't have_

_Did you ever try so hard_

_That your world just fell apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad_

Logan retreated back to his room; a hint of sadness falling on his heart. But he felt a little more at ease now that he returned the dog tag to her. It belonged with her. He had given it to her and now it was going to stay with her. No matter what. He just didn't want her to forget him. That was worse than any fate he could possibly imagine. Being forgotten by his true love. Have the woman who stole his heart from the first day he met her, forget him. He couldn't even bare the thought.

He slumped down into the bed next to his wife and placed his hands behind his head as he thought about Marie. He couldn't believe he was allowing himself to just let her go. That wasn't like him. But then again, when it came to Marie, he was hardly ever himself. Not the man he showed everyone else. The tough guy. The man who feared nothing. Who let nothing get in his way of what he wanted. But that wasn't who he truly was. Marie brought out the true man. And he wondered if she even knew it. Hell, he just figured it out himself, so how in the world could she know. Of course, then again, her eyes were open more to the world around her than were his. He knew deep in his heart that he would always love Marie, there was no doubt about it. But to him what mattered most was her happiness. And if he didn't provide that for her, than he had no choice but to let her go and find it. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to drift him off to the dream world, where he dreamt of the woman who held his heart in her hands and had for years.

_Every dream I dream_

_Is like some kinda rash 'n' reckless scene_

_To give out such crazy love_

_You must be some kinda drug_

_And if my time don't ever come_

_For me you're still the one_

_Damned if I don't; damned if I do_

_I gotta get a fix on you_

Marie walked back into her room and pulled out a clean pair of pajamas. Changing into them in the bathroom she looked at the reflection of the tag around her neck. She subconciously wrapped her hand around the cold metal and stared at the reflection of herself, watching as a single tear slid down her face and fall from her chin to the hand clasped around the tag. She hoped for dear life that he wasn't angry with her. That, if and when, in the future they run into each other again that he would be wearing a smile instead of cold features. She always hated those looks. They were unreadable and she had seen them more than she cared for. He was a broken man and she had just broken him more. But if she hadn't done this, than she would have been not only broken but shattered. She could feel herself crack and knew it was time to put an end to their little game. And so she had. And the guilt she felt was overwhelming.

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah_

_Have you ever wanted someone_

_You just couldn't have_

_Did you ever try so hard_

_That your world just fell apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad_

_So bad_

_Have you ever wanted someone_

_Wanted someone, yeah_

_Did you ever try so hard_

_That your world just fell apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad_

_And you're the girl I gotta have_

_I gotta have you baby, yeah_

_It's a game I just can't win_


	8. Full of Grace

**A/N: Again, as always, thank you all for the reviews. I appreciate them highly. Here's the next installment of my story and I hope you like it. Personally, I'm pretty happy with it. And as for my song choice, I just had to use it because it just fit perfectly for this chapter and the story itself. Well, I hope you enjoy! Now, on with the show!**

**Full of Grace**

_(by: Sarah McLachlan)_

Rogue knocked lightly on the door in front of her, not real sure what she was going to say to him, or how he would react for that matter. He had just told her he loved her and now she was coming to him to say she was leaving. She was leaving the life she knew for so long behind her. It was a scary thought, but it was something she knew she had to do just the same. The door opened to reveal a tired looking Scott and she knew it had been from their conversation the other day.

"Rogue." He said with a look of surprise on his face.

"Can Ah come in?" She asked as she fiddled with her hands in front of her. She was nervous and she wasn't real sure why.

"Uh, yeah." Scott said as he scratched the back of his head while moving out of the way so she could enter. "What's up?" He asked as he sat down on the bed.

"Ah'm not real sure where to start. This was really a last minute decision, but..." Rogue babbled as she paced in front of him.

"Rogue, just tell me." Scott said, getting up off the bed to stop her pacing.

Rogue looked up at him, startled by his hands on her shoulder. She was afraid to tell him, afraid of seeing the look on his face, but she had to. She couldn't just leave without telling him goodbye. And so, with a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Ah'm leavin' Scott."

She was frightened at what she saw on his face. Or lack there of. It was completely blank; not a hint of emotion, but then again, her news could just have not registered in his mind yet. She hoped he didn't think he was the cause, because that wasn't true.

"When?" He finally spoke up; letting go of her shoulders to turn his back to her.

"Ah don't know yet. Like Ah said, this was a last minute decision." Rogue answered as she brushed a strand of white hair behind her ear.

"It was Logan, wasn't it." Scott demanded and she could hear the anger rise in his voice.

"Partly, yeah. But not completely. He just made me realize Ah needed to find myself before anything else happens in my life. That's all." Rogue answered, somewhat trying to defend Logan.

"Stay, Rogue." He ordered, turning around to face her again, this time showing a flood of emotion, scaring her in the process.

She shook her head and chocked back a sob as she looked down at the floor, "no, Ah can't do that."

"Why not?" Scott demanded; giving Rogue a sense of deja vu.

"Because Ah can't, Scott. There are too many memories here, too much pain for me and Ah need to leave. Ah need to start somewhere fresh, to get my emotions in order. Because right now, believe it or not Scott, Ah am as messed up as they come from all of this. Ah can't take it. Not while Ah'm still here." Rogue explained, allowing the tears to fall. She knew this wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't expected to cry from it.

_The winter here is cold and bitter_

_It's chilled us to the bone_

_We haven't seen the sun for weeks_

_Too long too far from home_

_I feel just like I'm sinking_

_And I claw for solid ground_

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low_

_Oh, darkness I feel like letting go_

"Am I not enough?" Scott asked and Rogue could've sworn she saw a tear fall out from behind his glasses.

She took a deep breath and looked around the room. Again, she couldn't lie to Scott and the question he asked was going to be hard for her to answer. On both of them.

"No, Scott, you aren't." At her answer Scott turned away from her again and she saw him raise a hand to his face.

"You are just a much a part of my memories as any of this place or the people in it. If not a major one. And Ah can't do this if Ah'm with you. Ah'm sorry. It might sound cruel but it's true. Ah need just me right now, Scott. And Ah wish you'd understand that." Rogue explained.

"How can I understand that the woman I love doesn't want to be around me. My best friend. Huh? How?" Scott shot back.

"Scott, it's not you..."

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Rogue. You have people here who are willing to love you, to do anything for you. And you've got friends who would walk to the ends of the earth for you, but instead you think about yourself, pitying yourself because of some man who you can't..." Before Scott could even finish the sentence he found his cheek burning from the slap Rogue gave him. He held a hand to his cheek as he looked up at her. He saw anger floating in the tears that were filling her eyes and instantly regreted what he said. Love hurt, he knew that. And Rogue had suffered with it for years and he had to bring up something like that. Yeah, great way to make her stay.

"You have no idea. No idea what I have been through, so don't you dare give me some fucking speech on what I had been doing through the years because I know. Believe me, I know, Scott. There had been so many times where I tried to fight my feelings for him when I knew we were never going to be together. Hell, I even tried before that with the thought in my head that he didn't want me. But now. Now he does want me and it had to be during one of the worst times imaginable, so yeah. I pity myself. But give me just a little credit here, Scott, please. Because I'm not sure if my life can get any worse." And with that she turned on her heel and stormed out of his room, slamming the door in the process.

_If all of the strength_

_And all of the courage_

_Come and lift me from this place_

_I know I can love you much better than this_

_Full of grace, my love_

Rogue ran down the hall, not real sure where she was going. Scott had hurt her more than she could imagine. And she never thought he would say something like that to her. In love or not. She angrily wiped off the tears as they fell. She was getting frustrated with all the crying she was doing. It seemed that was all she did now. But her life was a wreck. Had been from the moment she discovered her mutation. That's when everything went down hill for her. Yeah, she had it great here at the mansion. Lifestyle wise, but not emotionally. She was on a rollercoaster she wasn't sure would ever stop. Until she had the plan to leave.

She ran around a corner so fast she ran right into Logan. The last person she wanted to see. She would've fallen on the floor, had it not been for the hands that grasped her arms. She hung her head to the floor, not wanting him to see her the way she was, her hair a curtain around her face. She tried to fight back when Logan cupped her chin in his hand and raised her head, but failed.

"What's the matter, kid?" He asked as if nothing had happened between them. Rogue sniffed and wiped a few more tears away before answering.

"Uh, nothing, I'm fine."

"Marie." He lightly growled.

"It's nothin', Logan. Now may Ah please go." Rogue denied.

"Are you having second thoughts on this?" Logan asked with a sound of hopefullness in his voice, but knew better.

"Huh? Oh, uh, no. Ah just... Ah talked to Scott. He wasn't too happy." Rogue blurted out; not really meaning to.

"What did he do to you, Marie." Logan demanded with a low, threatening growl.

"Logan! Nothing! He didn't hit me if that's what you're thinking. He just said some things that touched a little too close to home, that's all." Rogue defended; shocked that even Logan would think Scott capable of such a thing.

"What did he say?" Logan wanted to know. He was going to tear ol' one-eye a new one.

"God, Logan! Don't worry about it! It's over, alright! I'm leaving soon anyway. Probably by the end of the month. So why don't you two alphas stop worryin' about me or the situation!" Rogue screamed. She was feeling like she were going insane from all of the chaos. She pulled herself out of his arms and continued on down the hall at the same speed Logan had caught her at.

"Marie, wait! I have to tell... you... something." Logan slowed his wording down when he knew she wasn't stopping. Not for anyone. And he had some news he desperatly needed to tell her.

_It's better this way I said_

_Having seen this place before_

_When everything we say and do_

_Hurts us all the more_

_It's just that we stayed_

_Too long in the same old sickly skin_

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low_

_Oh, darkness I feel like letting go_

_**Earlier that day**_

"Are you sure about this?" He asked her as he rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm sure. And I'm fine. I had a feeling there was something missing. And I realzied it was you." She answered with a small smile.

"You're not upset?" He asked, slightly surprised.

Her smile grew as she answered, "No. You two belong together. I feel more like I stole you away from her. Not the other way around."

"You are an amazing woman." He replied.

She shrugged slightly and smiled, "yeah, well, I try."

"So, are we okay?" He asked.

"Of course we are, honey. I love you. I'll probably always love you. But I know now that we aren't true for each other. You and Marie. That's true love. I could see it in her eyes and I thought I saw it in yours, but I wasn't sure. That was one of the reasons why I talked to her. She spilled to me and I wasn't at all surprised, but when I tried to tell her about you, she refused. She's a great gal. Don't let her get away."

"Isn't that the speech she gave you?" Logan asked with a laugh.

"You heard?" Sherri asked back with a slight smirk.

"I was lookin' for ya."

"Ah, well, yeah, it is the same speech. Well, close to it anyway." Sherri smiled before standing on her tip toes to lightly kiss him on the cheek. He smiled down at her and she returned it before hicking up the bag that was sliding down her shoulder.

"I'll mail ya the papers and I'll probably send some people to pick up my stuff. Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure they're either mutants or mutant friendly." She said before walking out the door. Leaving a confused yet relief filled Logan behind.

He had sat her down after Marie told him her decision for leaving and told her everything. And to his amazment, she wasn't shocked, surprised, or even angry. She just nodded her head and said, 'thought so,' and after a few moments of silence after that she spoke up, 'and it's about time'. She then told him her story of how she had her suspicions about the two and how she felt like she was keeping apart something amazing. And she didn't want that. She also told him about how hearing his story of how he met Rogue and saving her twice, that a love built around that, built from that to be more precise, couldn't be held back or taken away. So she decided on leaving. They both promised to keep in touch but also knew it was highly doubtful it would happen. And once Sherri left, Logan searched high and low to find Marie to tell her of the news.

_If all of the strength_

_And all of the courage_

_Come and lift me from this place_

_I know I can love you much better than this_

_Full of grace_

_**Two weeks later**_

Rogue hugged all her friends as she stood by her car. Jubilee made her promise to write everyday and if she didn't have paper to get some. She wanted info on her adventure and so Rogue had promised. The professor had given her enough money to make it to her destination, wherever that may be. And a few little going away gifts from the other teachers and classmates. She was thankful for all of it. Most were necessaties to make it on the road. She hadn't seen Scott since she told him of her departure and figured she had just ruined one of the greatest friendships she ever had. Next to Logan's. She avoided him like a plague as she prepared leaving. She didn't want him to try and convince her to stay. It was early in the morning when she decided to leave and was shocked to see everyone around her car when she came out of the mansion, only expecting to see the professor and Ororo. But it really thrilled her to see Jubilee and Kitty holding a huge sign saying, "we'll miss you, chika!" in big yellow letters. Yep, Jubilee made it. As she opened the car door she looked back at her family, tears streaming down her face.

Logan wiped the water off his face as he came out of the bathroom in just his sweat pants. Today was the day he would find Marie for sure and tell her about him and Sherri. It was a big relief for him and knew it would be even bigger for her. Everytime he found Marie she ran away from him. He knew why. She didn't want him to ask her to stay. That was his intention, yes, but he would have given her a very good reason to stay. They could finally be together. No hiding. No secrets. Her dream could finally come true.

His ears perked at a sound her heard coming outside and he could swear it was the sound of Marie laughing. What was she laughing about? He wondered as he wandered over to the window. He almost stumbled when he saw his Marie climb into the car after wrenching a Jubilee from off her neck. Quickly dropping the towel he rushed down the stairs, taking three or maybe even four at a time. He had to stop her. He had to tell. Why hadn't she said goodbye to him? Why was she leaving without telling him? He thought if all else failed in his plan he could have at least told her when she said goodbye. Or maybe she was too afraid to say goodbye to him. The fear of coming to him to say goodbye would have made her stay. He knew her and he knew that was her reason. She was never great with goodbyes. Especially when it came to him.

He wrenched the door open and rushed outside, the cool air prickling at his hot skin. He watched as the car sped down the driveway as he ran after it, not caring about the sharp rocks digging into the flesh of his feet. All he cared about was stopping Marie. God, she had to know.

"Marie!" Logan roared as he ran past the crowd, not caring about the looks they gave him.

Rogue looked out the rearview mirror and saw Logan running after the car. She had to fight back the aching urge to stop the car and run to him. Because she knew if she did that, then she would never leave. So as she brought her eyes back to the road she didn't notice the broken man fall to the gravel covered ground in defeat.

_I know I can love you much better than this_

_It's better this way_


	9. Against All Odds

**A/N: Again, I want to say thanks for all the reviews. It really means alot to me. Well, here's the next chapter and it's sort of like a flashback chapter. And sorry I took so long. I tried my hardest to not keep you waiting for long, but I was busy with easter weekend. And preparing for easter weekend. Anyway, here it is and I hope you enjoy it. Toodles! smirk**

**Against All Odds**

_(by: Phil Collins)_

Logan sat in the drive for what seemed like forever. His face was caked with tears and dirt. He still couldn't believe she was gone. Just like that. He had his head hung low as his mind replayed how the events could have turned out. He imagined getting to her before she left and telling her they could be together finally and other times he imagined her stopping the car and running to him into his arms. But no, life and reality was a cruel thing. He slowly lifted his head and looked in the direction where there once was a floating dust trail from her retreating car; tears streaming down his face. He wasn't sure he could take this feeling. He was thrilled about telling her the news, but his heart sank the moment he saw her climbing into the car. He was even more miserable now then when he first woke up in the woods with no memory whatsoever of who he was or where he came from. Once he discovered Marie and his feeling for her, none of that mattered to him anymore. Because he had found a new reason to live, a better reason. But now she was gone and his life held no meaning. If he could take his own life, he probably would have. But no thanks to his healing factor, that wasn't an option. So he had no choice but to live for who knew how long with a broken heart.

Marie was the only one who truly knew who he was and what he had been through. She gave the term 'soul mate' a whole new meaning. There was no possible way he could forget her. There were too many memories of the time they shared together. Before he met Sherri. And one of those times had been when he realized his feelings for her.

_**Flashback:**_

"No."

"Please, Logan. It'll be fun and painless I swear." Marie begged him with her big brown eyes and a pouty lip.

"No, Marie." He said again as he kept his eyes on the television screen, knowing if he looked at her, he'd give in.

"Come on, sugah. Puh-lease." She asked again, snuggling closer to him by wrapping her arms around his and resting her chin on his shoulder while looking up at him.

"Marie, I said no. There is absolutely no way you are going to get me to help you bake." Logan replied.

"But, Logan. I need someone's help and your the only one here. I wouldn't ask otherwise." Rogue explained.

"Marie, how many times..." and that was where he made his mistake. That was when he met his demise. He saw those big brown eyes and just couldn't say no to her.

So, before too long, he found himself standing in the kitchen, holding a bowl while she dumped the cake batter into the pan. If Scott had seen him, he'd never let him live it down. He released a heavy sigh as she spread the batter around in the pan, leveling it out.

"Oh, come on, Logan. It's not that bad." Rogue said after hearing his sigh.

"Who's this for, anyway?" Logan asked with a furrowed brow.

"It's for Kitty. Her birthday is tomorrow." Rogue explained as she put the pan in the preheated oven. "There." She said turning around to face him while wiping her brow; leaving a long brown streak across it. Logan had to stifle a smirk when he saw it.

Clearing his throat he pointed to her face, "you, uh, got somethin' on your face."

"Where?" Asked Rogue giving Logan an evil idea.

"Right there." He pointed to her right cheek and she quickly brushed at it with her batter covered hand, leaving another streak.

"Oh, wait. There's some right there." He said as he pointed to her chin; causing her again to wipe at it.

"Did I get it all?" Rogue asked.

"No, there's some over there too." He then pointed to her other cheek.

"Now?" Rogue asked.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. That looks good." Logan replied.

"Thanks." She said with a smile before walking over to the counter to clean up her mess. She took a quick glance at the mirror that hung in the kitchen as she walked past it; causing her to stop in her tracks and look in it again. She gasped when she saw what Logan had done. Almost dropping the canister of flour she was holding.

"Logan!" She shrieked as she quickly turned around when she saw his smiling reflection in the mirror.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"You did that on purpose." She said with a small shriek in her voice.

"What makes you think that?" He asked.

"Well, it's kinda obvious." She said as she slumped her shoulders and held the flour in one hand dangling at her side. "Okay, Mr. Wise Guy. This means war." She said as she brought the flour back up. Taking off the lid she quickly got a handful of flour and threw it at him; giving his hair a grey tint and turning his face white.

"Oh, you're gonna get it, kid." Logan said as he bolted towards her. She shrieked in surpise and ran around the island counter. As she ran around the counter toward the door, Logan jumped over it and caught her around the waist, causing them to both tumble to the floor; Logan on top of her.

"Looks like I win." Logan said with a smirk.

"No. You're just on top at the moment." Rogue said with a small laugh.

"That was a bad pun." Logan replied with a raised brow.

"No, it wasn't a pun. It was the truth. I was being literal." Rogue replied as she tried to catch her breath.

Logan couldn't help his eyes from roaming down to her chest; watching as it slowly moved up and down with each breath she took. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face at the sight of her. She was beautiful. Why hadn't he noticed how much of a woman she had become? Because he was never very good at being observant. Even when it was right in front of his face. Of course, his Marie had never been in his face this much.

"Logan, stop starin'." Rogue interrupted his thoughts and he found his eyes on hers again.

"Starin' at what?" Logan asked, trying to pretend he didn't understand.

"Logan, don't play dumb with me. You were starin' at my chest."

"No, I wasn't, kid."

"Oh, no. Then explain the smirk you had on your face."

"Marie... I... " Logan started but was lost in her eyes. They were sparkling with life and laughter and that was when it hit him. He was in love with her. Had been for awhile, but it had to take something like this for him to realize it. She may not have actually done it, but it had to take her jumping in his lap to notice.

"Logan." Marie said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

In response he scanned her face slowly; looking at the perfection of her skin. Her deadly skin. He was the only one who didn't cringe away from her when she got too close. Even if she was clothed from head to toe or not. After reviewing her, he looked back into her eyes before slowly lowering his lips to hers. He heard her breath catch in her throat as she knew what he was up to. She opened her mouth to say something, to stop him from kissing her, no matter how much she wanted him to, but even after she got control of her skin, she wasn't fully in control. There had been times where it would go on and off. So she had to figure someway around that and the professor was helping. And before she could say anything to Logan to keep him from kissing her, someone had beaten her to it.

"Alright, everyone, Jubilation Lee is back from her shopping escapade and... woah! Okay, sorry, chika. I'll just leave." Jubilee said once she saw the position her friend was in even after the two had scrambled away from one another. After that night, Logan ran from the mansion once again. His fear about his feelings for Marie drove him farther away. Until he met Sherri.

_How can I just let you walk away_

_Just let you leave without a trace_

_When I stand here taking every breath with you_

_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

_How can you just walk away from me_

_When all I can do is watch you leave_

_Cause we shared the laughter and the pain_

_We even shared the tears_

_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

Night after night Logan wandered the halls, thinking about the day he realized his feelings for Marie and everywhere he looked, there she was. There wasn't a single room in the mansion that didn't hold a memory of her. He would have left, he would have run away from the pain, but he was frightened of her returning with him gone. He couldn't risk that. Though he knew it was highly doubtful she'd be coming back at all, he still felt the need to wait. He could, afterall, wait forever if that's what it took. And that's what he planned to do. He would chase after her, find her, but he knew it would have been a useless attempt. He had tried to talk the professor in finding her with cerebro, but refused. Telling him Rogue needed her privacy and if it were space she wanted, it was space she was getting. Logan just growled at him in response before storming out of the office in anger. Ororo had even tried comforting him by telling him when she was ready, Rogue would come back. It hadn't helped though. All it did was make him angrier.

He attempted to avoid all human contact by locking himself in his room during the day and wandering the halls and woods at night. It was all he could do, really. And his mind was constantly on his Marie and the image of her car retreating away from him. It haunted him more than his usual nightmares did, now. And he thought for sure he was losing his mind over this. But he didn't care. Why would he after losing the woman he loved? He didn't care about the whispers floating around the mansion about him. All he cared about was having Marie again. All he could do now was wait for Marie. Wait for her to never come home.

_So take a look at me now_

_There's just an empty space_

_And there's nothing left here to remind me_

_Just the memory of your face_

_Well take a look at me now_

_Well there's just an empty space_

_And you comin' back to me is against the odds_

_And that's what I've got to face_

There were times where he tried to fight the tears that wanted to fall, but it was useless. He couldn't help it. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that the wolverine didn't cry. He never cried. But the man, Logan, did. That much was sure. And he kept wishing he had gotten to her in time and told her about him and Sherri. And he wished there was some way of finding her, to bring her home, but he knew there wasn't. He was helpless. And all he could do was cry for her. Cry for her to come home. Logan found himself in the woods and by the river bank. His mind wander over to a time where he spent a day out here with Marie. Again, before he realized his love for her.

_**Flashback:**_

It had been a hot summer day and Rogue was complaining of the heat and all the layers of clothes she had on. So, to make her feel more at ease, Logan took her down to the river where she'd feel more comfortable; both with the heat and her skin. She had refused his proposal but he had assured her they'd both be fine. He couldn't help himself from noticing how great she looked in her navy green bikini but scolded himself soon after; telling himself she was a kid and he shouldn't have been looking in the first place.

"Come on, sugah! It's nice in here!" Rogue yelled from the river; waving her arms about the water to keep herself afloat.

"No." Was all Logan said as he sat in a chair and flipped through a magazine of some sort; his futile attempt at keeping his eyes away from Marie.

"Please. It's no fun out here by myself." She begged.

"No, Marie." He said again; still not taking his eyes off the magazine.

"Logan." She whined.

"Marie." He mocked; again not looking at her.

"Come on, Logan. You're sweating. I can see it from here."

"I'm fine."

"Liar."

"Marie, I am not getting into that damn water. Alright!" He yelled; looking towards the water.

"You're no fun." She pouted, causing him to smirk.

"No. I just have a different kind of fun." Logan winked at her and even from that distance he could tell she was blushing.

"That information you can keep to yourself, sugah." Marie finally said after recovering from her embarassment.

"Oh, come on, darlin'. You know you like the thought." Logan teased and he could see her jaw drop.

"Logan!" She exclaimed in surprise and she could feel her whole body turn red. Yeah, she did like the thought, but she never in a million years thought Logan would mention it. Joke or not.

"Darlin', stop blushing. You're turning the whole water red." He joked again as he continued to look at the magazine.

He heard her growl and caused him to smirk a little more as he listened to the water splashing from her movements in the water. Before anymore thoughts could run through his mind, he was drenched from head to toe in cold water.

"Marie!" He growled when he saw her retreating form in the water. How she was able to get so much water to drench him with was beyond him. But he wasn't about to let her get away. Not without a fight.

He took off his shirt and his boots and dove into the water. The drench denim and his adamanitium bones giving him a little bit of trouble, but he was on a mission. He was going to get his revenge.

As he neared her he saw her dive under and he dived after her. He opened his eyes under the murky water and could barely make out her paddling feet. But with a smirk, and without thinking right, he reached out his arm and grabbed her ankle; hearing her scream under the water as he pulled her to him. She looked at him wide eyed and he realized what he had done. Touched her with skin to skin contact. They both looked down and noticed the bare hands and arms around her waist and skin from both their chests touching. Logan looked back into her eyes and swam to the surface.

"Well, it looks like you got your wish, darlin'. Control over your mutation before college." He said once their heads were above the surface; he still hadn't let go of her and hadn't really noticed. But Rogue had. She had wanted so bad for Logan to be the first to touch her when she got her mutation under control. But she never thought it'd be such a surprise.

Once the thought registered in her mind; a huge smile spread across her face and she flung her arms around Logan's neck. "I can't believe this. I can't believe this. This is just great!" She exclaimed and if she had her feet on the ground she probably would have been jumping up and down with Logan still in her grasp.

"But how?" She then asked as she let go of him.

"Let's go talk to the professor." Logan said, letting go of her waist only to grab a hold of her hand to lead her out of the water.

_I wish I could just make you turn around_

_Turn around and see me cry_

_There's so much I need to say to you_

_So many reasons why_

_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

He stared out into the water as tears rolled down his face at the memory. Then. He could've done something then. Kiss her. Something. Anything. But he didn't know of his feelings then. At the time he thought it was just a friendly game they were playing. But now he knew it was Marie flirting with him. But he was too stubborn to notice it. God, she hadn't been a kid then. It was during the summer before college started. No kid was in college. No she was an adult. But he hadn't noticed. Any other man would have taken that oppurtunity to kiss her. To take her. To make her his. But no, not Logan. Not Wolverine. He was too stupid to see what was right in front of him. No matter how little clothing they wore, he still couldn't see. Mabye he was more afraid of the idea. He had never felt like that before. For him, all he cared about was sex. He didn't need the strings that would normally come with it. So, he'd look for women who looked for the same thing. But Marie. God, Marie was a whole other story all together. She saved him as he did her. She made him open his eyes to the world around him. Made him see the better things in life. Unfortunetly, he couldn't see the great things. Not until it was too late.

_So take a look at me now_

_Well there's just an empty space_

_And there's nothing left here to remind me_

_Just the memory of your face_

_Now take a look at me now_

_Cause there's just an empty space_

He walked slowly back to the mansion, his mind still on the day at the river where Rogue discovered her control over her mutation, and that day in the kitchen where he discovered his feelings for her. God, why had he run? Why didn't he track Marie down later that night and finish where things left off in the kitchen? These questions he couldn't answer. Too afraid to hear what they'd be. Yeah, he knew what they were. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. To even think it; it hurt too much for him. Maybe he deserved to be alone. To live without her. Afterall he did have his chances. Many chances and he blew them all. So, it would only make sense if he should live life miserably for all the years, decades, centuries, or millineums to come.

_But to wait for you is all I can do_

_And that's what I've got to face_

_Take a good look at me now_

_Cause I'll still be standing here_

_And you coming back to me is against all odds_

_It's the chance I've got to take_

As he lay down in his mind all he could think about was that face. The girl with brown and white hair. Brown eyes that sparkled when she laughed. A smile that would light up even the darkest of rooms. And last, but not least, the sound of her voice when she spoke his name. That was what he thought about as he drifted off to a new day. Another day lived without her.

_Take a look at me now_


	10. Sometimes Goodbye

**A/N: Hey, thanks again for your reviews. It feeds my hunger starved muse. Hehee. Anyway, sorry it took so long. I had difficulties finding the perfect song, and then I had to babysit, not complaining there, I love my nephew and now my dad is in town. He's a trucker. So, busy busy busy. But here is the long awaited chapter. Sorry if it's short. I think my muse is going on strike. Ah, yeah, I think I see a sign. Can't read what it says though. Just proves the creativity that my muse is sorely lacking. I should be careful what I say or it'll quite on me all together. Okay, enough of my babbling. Here ya go, and enjoy! Thanks again! I love ya, all!**

**Somtimes Goodbye**

_(by: Terri Clark)_

Rogue sat alone in a booth in an old run down cafe, staring at the cup of coffee that was set in front of her. She watched the little swirls in the liquid as she rubbed her index finger around the rim of the glass. She sighed as she rested her hand down on the paper placed next to her coffee. She had bought the thing, wanting to find out what was happening in the world she was now in, but hadn't gotten up the will to read it. She watched the waitress, Sandra by the nametag, walk by for what seemed like the hundredth time with the same distant look in her eyes. She was there physically, but mentally she was somewhere else. She looked how Rogue felt. She picked up her spoon and began stirring the contents of the coffee, though she hadn't dumped anything in it. She just enjoyed watching the small whirlpool it caused. Her mind kept wandering back to the mansion and the man she had left behind. She had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. One was telling her to run and the other was telling her to turn back. She wasn't sure which one was saying what, but it was driving her insane.

She knew she couldn't turn back. She had to do this no matter how difficult it was. She loved Logan and it was difficult not to run back into his arms and wish for everything to be alright, but she had to search for herself, and getting away from the mansion and him was the only way to do that. Her heart ached from what she was doing but she kept repeating to herself that she had to be strong. She just had to be. Besides, she had gotten this far and she couldn't turn back now. It had been a couple days since she left and she barely stopped driving. Usually only to sleep and occasionally eat. She knew she wasn't eating enough and she could hear the Logan in her head scolding her on it. She knew he was no longer in there, but sometimes, just sometimes, her imagination brought him back. Mainly during the times she was really down in the dumps. Which happened often in her life now.

_I've got an ice cold cup of coffee_

_And a paper I haven't read_

_A canyon in my heart_

_And a hammer in my head_

_And a waitress with an empty stare_

_It looks right through me_

_I'm sittin' at this table_

_And I'm balancing the salt_

_Weighin' out my choices_

_Baby it's nobody's fault_

_And I'm torn up by these voices_

_Talking to me_

Rogue knew if she hadn't left she'd lose her sanity. Hell, she thought that maybe she already had. At least a little bit of it. How could someone not, after what she had done. She'd left a world behind that had welcomed her with open arms, no questions asked, and two men who loved her. She had to have been insane to do something like that. She just had to be. But that place was probably the cause of her losing her sanity. That's why she had to leave. She needed to get it back. It was out there somewhere and she had to find it. Yes, her and Logan were good together. Two peas in a pod as it were. But, as with everything, there was a flaw. A catch if you will. And that had been Sherri. So, the only option left was for one of them to leave, and Rogue knew it had to be her. There was no questions asked. Not a single doubt in her mind. She had surprised herself at how strong she was when she decided this. Everything was backwards. She was strong and Logan was weak. She had to be in the twilight zone. That was the only logical explanation she could find for it.

She still had the image fresh in her mind when she ended it with Logan. The painful look on his face and the tears running like waterfalls down his face. It pained her to see him like that, for it was the first time she ever witnessed him cry. Sure, he cried when Jean died, but he held back and she saw it. But this time, he just released it all. Maybe in hopes of making her guilty and take back what she had said. She almost had, too. But she kept her ground, her backbone, and her decision. Her mind was made up. She wondered what Logan was doing at that moment and had to fight back the tears that yearned to fall. Damn it, she was finished with crying. She wasn't going to do it anymore. She'd had enough of it already. She needed to stay strong, for her soul. She needed the strength desperetaly.

_You said there's no good reason_

_For me to walk away_

_You say there's so much good between us_

_Who wouldn't wanna stay_

_But how can I be with you_

_If deep down I believe_

_I'll lose a part of me_

She didn't leave souley on the situation with Logan. It was her excuse, yes. But it wasn't her true reason. She had planned for some time on leaving because she knew there was life beyond the mansion. And her hope for Logan being with her was the only reason she stayed. Hoped he would come to his senses and realize his love for her. But that was before Sherri. When all was right with the world. Their world. She missed the moments they shared together. Watching hockey in his room with chips and beer or playing pool, although she wasn't that great at it. He had offered to teach her, but she refused for some dumb reason she couldn't even remember. She figured it was because she didn't think she could handle having him that close to her without jumping him and having her way with him right there on the pool table. Yeah, that had to be it. A smirk formed on her face at the thought.

"Well, you look a little happier." Sandra said as she passed her.

"Oh, just dwelling on old memories." Rogue replied with a forced smile.

"Ah, those. Lost love?" Sandra asked, returning the smile.

"Yeah. Lost for good." Rogue whispered as she looked back at her coffee.

"Don't give up hope, honey. You'll find him. Sooner or later." Sandra reassured and Rogue gave her another smile while nodding her head.

"Yeah, maybe." And at that, Sandra smiled one more time at Rogue before assisting her other customers.

_Sometimes goodbye is the only open door_

_I can't turn back when I know there's something more_

_I gotta find what my heart beats for_

Rogue pulled out a piece of paper she had folded neatly in the pocket of her jacket. She held it in her hands, scanning the white sheet before slowly unfolding it. It was a letter she had written Logan, but never got up enough courage to give it to him. She wrote it the night before she left and then soon after cried herself to sleep. Unfolding the piece of paper slowly, as if it would crumble if she wasn't careful, she began to read:

_**My Dearest Logan,**_

_**I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you in person, it's just I know you would have found some way in making me stay, and I can't have that. I am also sorry for all of the pain I caused you. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, but I have to do this. I know you understand. Or, at least I hope you do. I just need you to know that I still love you. I probably always will, but I need my life sorted out, and in order to do that, I can't have you in it. I know, it's harsh, but it's also the truth. I'm not that great in heart-to-heart talks, I probably got that from you. I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm running. I may have a hint of your personality still in me. I'm just taking your advice. The one you gave me on the train so many years ago. I'm following my instincts and they're telling me to leave. To find myself. Believe me, Logan, when I say this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. And, before I end this letter, I want to thank you. You have touched my life in so many ways, and I believe you've changed it for the better. I don't know what I would have done, hadn't I met you. If you're worried, don't be. I'll be fine. I'm strong. And that credit goes to you. I'm no longer the weak, frightened girl you found in your trailer. I'm a strong, confident woman. Thank you, Logan. For everything. I love you, with all my heart.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Marie**_

_I've got a half a page of reasons_

_And a napkin full of tears_

_From trying to pull my spirit_

_Through the pocket of my fears_

_As the lunch crowd empties out into the city_

_And there may not be_

_A way for me to make you understand_

_I'll write down the words I'm feeling_

_And I'll leave it in your hands_

_But the memories of our love_

_I'm taking with me_

Rogue sniffed back the tears once she was finished reading the letter. She wished now that she had given it to him, but it was too late. She also knew she could mail it, but she wasn't sure she could. It just wouldn't be the same. God, was she making a mistake in leaving? No. No, she wasn't. She was doing the right thing. She just had to convince herself of that. Over and over and over again. Sometimes she wished she could just forget everything. Wished she could wake up in the woods, maybe not naked, with no memories of her past; like Logan. Start off fresh. Crisp. Ripe. Well, maybe not ripe. She just wanted an easy way to let go of him. Skip over the heart wrenching feeling in her heart and the tears fighting to break free of her mental barrier. It would make this a whole lot easier.

As she got out of the booth, she placed a few dollar bills down on the table as the tip for the waitress before going up to the counter to pay for her untouched coffee. She paid her due and headed for the door when a wave of nausea hit her. Steadying her dizzy state by placing a hand on a chair and resting her hand to her forehead, she fought back the urge to throw up all over the carpeted floor. With a quick turn she covered her mouth and ran as fast as she could to the restroom, in hopes she'd make it in time.

_You say there's no good reason_

_For me to walk away_

_You say we're meant to be together  
I'm making a mistake_

_But this emptiness inside me_

_Has brought me to this road_

_And I have to let you go_

After flushing the toilet, Rogue stepped out of the stall with the back of her right hand to her mouth, still feeling slightly nauseous. She walked over to the sinks and looked in the mirror. The sight of her reflection was a hideous one. Her eyes were red from watering while she threw up her stomach lining, her face was pale, and her hair was a mess. She scowled at her reflection as she turned on the cold water faucet. Running her hands under the water, she bent over it and splashed the cool liquid on her face. With a sigh of relief, she did it again before shutting off the water. She wiped the dripping water off her face with a brown paper towel and looked once more at her reflection. She still looked horrible, but at least she didn't look like she had a deadly virus. God, where had that come from. She felt fine ten minutes ago and then it just smacked right into her. She must've been coming down with something. After all, no one said this place was sanitary. But then again, the only time she touched the coffee was to play with it with her spoon. Rogue shrugged her shoulders and waved the thought from her head as she left the restroom. Not giving it a second thought.

_Somtimes goodbye is the only open door_

_I can't turn back when I know there's something more_

_I gotta find what my heart beats for_


	11. Neon Moon

**A/N: Hey, hey! New chapter and this one didn't take nearly as long as the last one. I think my muse is finally deciding to cooperate with me. Wahoo! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and as always, your feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks again to all of you! And, now, on with the show!**

**Neon Moon**

_(by Brooks and Dunn)_

Logan paced back and forth in his room; trying to decide what to do. Either he could stay there and dwell on his emotions or he could go out and drown them. As he grabbed his leather coat, he chose the latter and rushed out of his room. Thrusting the coat over his shoulders as he walked out the door, he took Scooter's bike and headed into town to find a place to drown his sorrows. He sighed as the cool wind rushed through his hair, giving him an almost relaxing feeling. Something he desperatley needed.

As he entered the city, he slowed the speed of the bike and scanned the buildings; searching for the perfect bar that would service his needs. Most bars gave pity to their customers by giving them the hardest liquor they carried, but Logan was looking for one where people generally kept to themselves. He didn't need, nor wanted, anyone to try and strike up a conversation with him. He just wanted to stare into the glass and think about Marie until the booze made him temporarily forget her. He didn't want to forget her, that was the last thing he wanted, but the pain was too much to bare. Why couldn't his healing factor work on a broken heart, too? That would've been nice. That way he could care less whether Marie came back or not. But no, it seemed the heart and the mind worked together on occasions. That's why he let her into his truck when he found her in his trailer. His conscience scolded him for leaving her on the snowy road and she had already touched his heart the moment he saw her. She seemed so innocent and frightened. He felt for her.

_When the sun goes down_

_On my side of town_

_That lonesome feelin'_

_Comes to my door_

_And the whole world turns_

_Blue_

Logan parked the bike in front of a worn out bar. The perfect place. He walked into the bar and saw there were maybe four or five people lounging around, each with a drink by them. Some seemed passed out with their faces resting on the table. Yep, this would do just fine. He crossed the floor to a table with two chairs pushed in to the table at the back of the bar. He pulled one chair out and released a sigh as he sat down. He scanned the bar to see if anyone had noticed him enter, and sure enough, they had. A woman with way too much makeup on and too tight of clothes for her physique headed his way.

"What can I get for ya, honey." She asked with a hand on her hip and a tray in her other hand; smacking the gum around in her mouth as she spoke.

"Whiskey." He said gruffley.

"Straight up?" She asked with a hint of laughter in her voice, this was going to be fun to watch.

"Yeah." Logan answered as he glared up at her. He didn't need this. Everyone he met, except Marie of course, judged him the first time they saw him.

"Comin' right up." She replied before turning around and heading back to the bar.

Logan noted the amount of neon signs that hung on the walls near the ceiling all around the bar. Some said "Bud Light" and others said "Coors Light". Most of the signs hanging up had some letters missing. One of the Coors Light signs said "oors Light" and some of the Bud Light signs said "Bu Light". Yep, definitely his type of bar.

_There's a run down bar_

_Across the railroad track_

_I've got a table for two_

_Way in the back_

_Where I sit alone_

_Think I'm losin' you_

_I spend almost every night_

_Beneath the light of a neon moon_

This wasn't the first time he'd been to this place, but this was the first time he actually took a good look around. It was a dump and needed some refurbishing. Okay, so that was an understatement. It needed major refurbishing. Logan grabbed the whiskey that was set in front of him and quickly downed the burning liquid, barely wincing at the burning sensation that traveled all the way down to his stomach; surprising the waitress in the process.

"Another?" She asked and he nodded his head.

She quickly came back with another and he downed that one just as quick. She set the bottle of whiskey down in front of him and gestured to it with her hand.

"Help yourself, sweetheart." He looked up at her with a softer look on his face and her eyes held understanding. She knew, somehow, that he lost someone he loved and needed to kill off the pain.

"I've seen plenty of broken hearts come through here." She answered when he held a look of wonder on his face. "So, like I said, help yourself." She finished before heading back to the bar.

_Now if you lose your one and only_

_There's always room here for the lonely_

_Come watch your broken dreams dance_

_In and out of the beams_

_Of a neon moon_

Logan rubbed his thumb over the black letters that spelled out the alcoholic drink as he thought back to the days of him and Marie. God, he had to get his mind away from her. But it was difficult. She was everywhere. And she was the strongest in his mind. He could've swore he saw her more than once while he sat in the bar, but knew it was just the alcohol playing tricks with his mind. The bottle was now less than half full, or empty, whichever way you looked at it. It was full to the neck when the waitress had given it to him and he only felt buzzed. Damning his healing factor, he grunted before clutching the clear bottle and bringing it to his lips; taking a big swig and welcoming the burn.

He growled at a few people who dared to stare at him and his drinking behavior. He didn't give a shit what they thought about him, but one of the things he hated more than anything, it was being stared at. He knew he was a freak, even among mutants, but being stared at made him feel even more of freak than he already was.

Lowering his eyes back to the table the bottle rested on; he wished Marie was with him now. Instead of feeling miserable, he could be having fun at watching her get drunk. He hadn't been there for her twenty first birthday and he mentally kicked himself for it, too. He had left her a couple of months before her birthday and he figured he probably broke her heart by doing so. After all, they had made plans on what they were going to do. Get drunk, watch some hockey, get even more drunk, watch some more hockey and then pass out before the alcohol took it's toll on them. But no, that hadn't happened because he ran from his feelings for her before that time came. It was a wonder she still cared for him after that. Again, she never ceased to amaze him. She never was one to hold a grudge, no matter how bad it was, she always forgave.

_I think of two young lovers_

_Runnin' wild and free_

_I close my eyes_

_And sometimes see_

_You in the shadows_

_Of this smoke filled room_

Logan now had his head resting on the wood of the table witht the now empty bottle still clutched in his hand. He was feeling past buzzed, but Marie was still in his head and he had smacked his head against the table a couple times in hopes of knocking her out of his head only to keep his head lying there in defeat. He was a wreck and he knew it. For as long as he could remember he never felt this way before. Hell, he didn't even get like this when Jean died. But then again he didn't love Jean. Cared for her, yes. But never loved. He loved, still loves, Marie with all his heart and soul and it practically felt like she was dead. No, scratch that. If she were dead, then he would have found someway to die himself so he could be with her. But then again, according to Catholics, God frowned upon suicidals. Unwelcome in heaven. Not allowed. Kicked out. Whatever. Ugh, he needed more alcohol.

He lifted his head to call for the waitress only to find her standing above him, "more, please." He slurred as he handed back the bottle.

"Sorry, mister, but I gotta cut ya off. You've had more than enough." She replied as she took the bottle from him.

"No. I'm fine, now give me more whiskey." Logan growled as he straightened up in his chair.

"I can't." She argued before turning around.

"No." Logan growled again, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"I suggest you take your hand off me, sir." She whispered harshly to him while looking towards the bar. Logan looked in the direction she was looking and noticed a man he hadn't seen earlier standing behind the bar; cleaning a glass with a white towel as he stared in their direction suspiciously.

"Sorry." Logan grumbled as he let her go and slowly sat back in his chair.

"Don't worry about. But I can't give you any more alcohol. He told me you're cut off. I don't think he much appreciates you drinkin' all the whiskey." She explained and Logan nodded before waving her off.

"S' alright." He slurred as he stood up, stumbling slightly. "You're prob'ly right."

"You need me to call ya cab?" She asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Nah. I'll take a walk first. Sober up enough." Logan replied with a small smile. He really did appreciate her hospitality.

"Alright. You just be careful." She said.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Logan assured her before walking out of the bar.

_No tellin' how many tears_

_I've sat here and cried_

_Or how many lies_

_That I've lied_

_Tellin' my poor heart_

_She'll come back someday_

_Oh, but I'll be alright_

_As long as there's light_

_From a neon moon_

Logan pulled his jacket on and shivered slightly as the cool air rushed over his warm body. He looked up at the sound of something buzzing above him and noticed the flickering of a pinkish-purple sign just above the door. He probably could have read what it said had it not been for his slightly blurry vision the alcohol gave him. He wasn't full fledged drunk but he was definitely past being buzzed. Maybe he should just go to another bar and drink some more there. He shook his head against the thought and figured they would probably see how drunk he was and kick him out right away. He looked at Scott's bike and at the road before him, deciding he would take a walk, he stepped around the bike and headed down the road, getting once again lost in thought.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground as he walked. He figured if he had a dime for everytime Marie crossed his mind since she left, he'd be rich. She'd been gone almost two weeks now, and he still couldn't get her out of his head or get rid of the hope that maybe she'd return someday and someday soon. He knew it was a fools hope. But then again he was a fool, so, things evened out. Another blinking sign caught his attention and he had to fight the urge to go inside. He wanted to so desperately, but knew it wouldn't have been a good idea. First of all, the bar didn't look like his kind and people would sure try to connect with him, most likely women, and he just couldn't do it. Before Marie, he would surely take them up on their offer, whatever that may be, and take them to bed. But now, now he just couldn't.

_Oh, if you lose your one and only_

_There's always room here for the lonely_

_To watch your broke dreams dance_

_In and out of the beams_

_Of a neon moon_

After what seemed like hours he turned around and started back to the bar; feeling more than sober. Now he just wanted to go back to the mansion and pass out and hopefully not have any dreams. Lately, he'd been having dreams, very realistic dreams, of Marie returning and running into his arms where he took her to bed. But then he'd wake up and realize he had dreamt it all; only to end up crying into his pillow. His heart ached every time almost to the point he could no longer bare it. Not having her with him, even near him, was killing him; driving him insane. He just wished there was someway to bring her back. To find her. But that wish would never come true. No matter how much he wished it.

Logan made it back to the bar in time to see the waitress walking out. When she turned around she greeted him with a big smile; apparently happy he had actually taken a walk. He gave her a small smile himself as he walked up to his bike.

"You okay, now?" She asked as she stood opposite of him by the bike.

"No, but hopefully I will be." He answered as he climbed on the bike.

"Maybe you shouldn't drive. You can stay the night at my place. If you'd like." She offered and Logan looked her up and down before making his desicion.

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but I'll be fine." Logan replied. He didn't know why he was being so kind to her. Most people he'd just grunt and growl at and be on his way. Mabye it was because she understood his pain without him having to spill the story to her.

"Alright, honey. Just be careful." She patted him on the back before walking down the street, hugging her coat tighter to herself.

Logan followed her with his eyes for a moment before turning his attention back to the bike. He started up the engine and turned it onto the road; heading back to the mansion. With all his memories of her.

_Juke box plays on_

_Drink by drink_

_And the words _

_Of every sad song_

_Seem to say what I think_

_And it's heard inside of me_

_Ain't never gonna end_

_Oh, but I'll be alright_

_As long as there's light_

_From a neon moon_

Logan parked Scott's bike in the garage where he had found it and slowly walked into the mansion, quietly closing the door behind him. He walked up the stairs to his room; stripping off his jacket and the flannel shirt beneath that, now showing the white tank he always wore. As he entered his room, he threw the shirt and coat on his dresser and collapsed on the bed, not bothering to take his boots off, he was too exhausted. He drifted off into a dreamless sleep; for the first time in weeks not seeing the woman who haunted him at night.

_Oh, if you lose your one and only_

_There's always room here for the lonely_

_To watch your broken dreams dance_

_In and out of the beams_

_Of a neon moon_


	12. Laugh To Keep From Crying

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait but I have been busy all week. My truck driver dad was in town for the week so I had been spending most of my time with him. So there's the reason behind the lack of updating. But it's here now, so all is forgiven, I hope... right? Well, anyway. Just recently my muse hit me full force and I was writing this chapter like I had it already written down on a piece of paper next to me and I was just typing away, so I hope you all like it. And thanks again for the reviews. Love them all. And I love you all. You're great. You love me. You really love me. Ahem, sorry. On with the show!**

**Laugh To Keep From Crying**

_(by: Madonna)_

Rogue sat on the paper covered examining table as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. She was nervous and frightened. She was scared she had some awful disease. She was just happy she had her skin under control in order to get the examination. She had thrown up practically three or more times a day and she was beginning to worry and decided to find a doctor somewhere on the road. Her breath hitched as she watched the doctor walk back into the room while looking at a piece of paper resting on a clipboard in his hand.

"Well, according to your tests, you are one healthy woman." He explained as he glanced at her and then at the clipboard again.

"Why do I keep throwing up then?" Rogue asked with her forehead scrunched.

"Well, probably because your eating for two." He answered as he closed the clipboard and held it to his side with a slight smile on his face.

It felt like Rogue's eyes were bulging out of her sockets and her jaw was touching the floor below her feet. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She must've heard incorrectly. She couldn't be. God, the only man she slept with recently was...

"Oh, god." Rogue whispered more to herself than the doctor.

"Congratulations." The doctor said, ignoring her distress.

No! No congratulations! Rogue thought as she looked up at the doctor with tear filled eyes. Oh, god. What was she going to do? It was obvious who the baby belonged to, but... but she couldn't go back. She couldn't. And the news of him being the father of her baby would most definitely ruin his marriage. No. She couldn't do that. He deserved to be happy with Sherri. And Sherri with him. She couldn't go back with this news. She just couldn't. It was most definitely out of the question. But he did have the right to know, didn't he? Of course he did, but how was she supposed to tell him. Oh, she was even more terrified now than she was when she came into the doctor's office.

"My assitant will help you with the bill at the front desk." The doctor said as he walked out of the room again to allow Rogue privacy to change back into her clothes.

Bill? Oh, god, the bill. She didn't have the money to pay for the bill. Hell, she hardly had money to pay for a decent meal. She knew the only choice she had was to call the professor and ask for his help. She hated doing that. She felt like a mooch. But that was usually for little things and this was important. So she finished changing and walked out the door and went up to the payphone on the wall.

She jammed her hands in her pockets in search for a quarter and felt triumphant when she found one. With a small smile on her face she picked up the reciever and dialed the long distant number to Westchester. With a held breath she listened to the ringing. Anticipation rising as she waited for someone to pick up.

"Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." She heard the professor say and breathed a sigh of relief for him answering.

"Professor. It's Rogue."

"Rogue, dear. How are you?" Rogue could hear in his voice that he already knew it was her before it even rang.

"Been better. Listen. I need a favor and I wouldn't normally ask, but..." Rogue started but the professor interrupted her.

"Just send the bill to me. Don't worry about it." He said and she could hear a smile on his face.

"You know?" Rogue asked. Panic rising in her gut.

"Don't worry, Rogue. I only know you're at the doctor's. I hope you're alright." He replied.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a little bit of the stomache flu." Rogue lied and she probably figured he knew she had. But he wasn't letting on.

"Good. And don't worry about the money. It's alright."

"I just hate asking you for money." Rogue said with guilt in her voice.

"I understand if it were a pair of shoes. But this is a hospital bill. There's a big difference, Rogue." The Professor laughed out slightly.

"Okay, thank you, Professor." A small smile formed on her face as she spoke; feeling slightly better about the situation.

"Anytime, dear." He replied.

"I'll talk to you later." Rogue said as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Okay, you take care."

"I will. Oh, and Professor."

"Yeah."

"I'm going to be calling back, later tonight. But it's to talk to Logan." Rogue explained.

"Okay. I'll keep a mental ear out for your call." Rogue couldn't help but release a small laugh at that.

"Okay, thank you." Rogue informed him of her calling later because she didn't want anyone else but the professor answering so he could direct her to Logan's room without a fuss.

"Bye, Rogue." The professor said, and she could've sworn she heard sadness in his voice.

"Bye, Professor." Rogue replied before hanging up the phone.

With a deep sigh she slowly turned around and headed to the front desk. She gave the woman the address to mail the bill and strictly asked to keep her pregnancy confidential in the bill. That was the last thing she needed. She wasn't sure if they added those things in the bill, but it was better safe than sorry. With a small smile of gratitude toward the assistant, she turned and walked out of the building with a hand subconciously resting near her stomach.

_I can't lock my door_

_Oh, I don't have no privacy_

_The only thing that's mine_

_Is what's inside of me_

Rogue sat in the driver's seat of her car and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. If her life couldn't possibly get anymore complicating, she had to find out she was pregnant. She felt the sting of hot tears hit her eyelids and she didn't even bother to fight them off this time. She was terrified and the tears showed it. What was she going to do? Should she keep the baby? Should she put it up for adoption? What? She had no answers for these questions and she was debating with a voice in her head on whether she should return to the mansion or not. She didn't want her baby growing up without a father but she also didn't want to raise it in such a harsh world. She didn't want it to experience the things she had. Not as a kid. She remembered how hard that was for her; how terrifying it had been. And there was no doubt the baby was going to be born a mutant. Both it's parents were after all. She grunted in frustration as she lightly banged her head on the wheel.

She slowly lifted her head off the wheel and wiped the tears off her cheeks; taking a deep sigh in the process. She could do this. She was tough. Just like she wrote in that letter to Logan... which she never gave. Yeah, real brave there, Rogue. She thought with an eyeroll. God, she could be such a chicken sometimes. She pulled her keys from her small purse and put it in the ignition; starting the car. She slowly placed her hands on the wheel as she stared at the road in the parking lot. She needed more time to think this over.

So, she put the car into drive and turned on the road heading farther away from Westchester. She couldn't go back yet. Hell, she wasn't even sure yet if she was going to go back at all. She knew it'd be the right thing to do, but she was terrified at how she would be viewed. Everyone would know she had an affair with Logan. She'd most likely be considered a slut. Then again, she already felt like one. One step at a time Rogue, just take this one step at a time.

Maybe when she called back, later that night she should inform the professor about it. He'd understand and he wouldn't view her as anything but his young, graduated student, Rogue. One of many that he cared for. But she knew he cared for her more like a daughter than a student. She had gone to his office on many occasions to practice controlling her power and when they succeeded he had said he couldn't be more proud of her. What if this news deflats that pride like a balloon? Oh, she wasn't sure she could take that. No. She would tell the professor. He was the only one she could really trust with it. Yeah, she would have to tell him.

She could feel her heart begin to beat faster at the thought of telling someone she was pregnant. How was she supposed to even begin telling him? She gripped the steering wheel tight and swallowed a lump in her throat at the thought. She felt like a wreck. It suddenly dawned on her how stupid she had been. She thought she had some stupid disease when it turned out she was pregnant. She hadn't even noticed that she skipped a period. Of course, with all that was going on with her leaving the mansion and Logan, it never dawned on her to notice. Or even care for that matter. Her heart was in too much pain to really notice anything else.

_When I've had enough_

_A little voice inside_

_It says you've got to be tough_

_You've got to take it in stride_

She made up her mind. She was going to keep the baby. It's that old saying that did her in. Take responsibility for your actions. And that's what she was going to do. She wasn't going to hand her baby off to someone she didn't even know and hope they raise it well. No way. The baby was hers, so therefore, her responsibility. Now if only she could get up the courage to tell Logan.

She touched her stomach with her right hand as she kept her left hand on the wheel and glanced down where her hand lay. She didn't consider the baby an accident or a mistake. A suprise, yes. But never a mistake. It was an unexpected gift. She smiled as she remembered when she was younger, thinking she would never become a mother. There was no way with her skin. But now she had the one thing she never thought she'd have. She was going to be the one thing she never thought she could be. A mother. She was going to have a baby. Her smile grew with her thoughts and tears of happiness fell down her face.

The only problem with the situation was the father. And the fact that the father was a married man. She fought back a different set of tears as the thought of him filled her mind. She still had no idea if she was going to tell him or if she should just live somewhere away, far far away, from Westchester and raise the baby on her own without his knowledge of even having a kid out there.

She began to wonder if her baby was his first. He did sleep around alot before he met her. So the idea wasn't impossible. In fact, it was highly possible there was another woman out there with Logan's child. She closed her eyes tight for a moment as the thought crossed her mind. It ached in her heart to think about all the women he probably slept with. With a deep sigh she shook the thought away before she could dwell on it any longer.

_Sometimes I am foolish_

_I let it get the best of me_

_At least I know that my mistakes_

_Are my responsibility_

_And_

She released a small laugh as she fought back the tears. It was all she could do really. She didn't want to cry. In fact, she refused to. But she couldn't think of any other way to fight the tears that screamed to fall. She angrily wiped away a tear that escaped her eyes and set her hand back to the wheel, only to grip it tighter. She was so lost. She had no idea what she was going to do with this life. The one growing inside her. She wanted the best for it, but she couldn't give it the best. Not out here in the real world. The thought of raising it outside of the mansion terrified her to no end, but she was scared to go back there. She thought maybe, it'd show weakness. That they would think she couldn't make it out there on her own. Which wasn't true.

She could survive outside the mansion life. If it were just her she could. But now she had someone else with her and with the way she was living right now wasn't healthy for her, she knew. She hadn't really cared at the time, but now she did. Her unhealthiness, meant the baby was unhealthy. She couldn't handle the thought of that. She had to take better care of herself. More eating and more sleeping. It was for the baby's own good.

Her money was still tight, but she was sure she could scrounge up something. Maybe when she ate at a cafe she could tell the waitress that she was pregnant and she would give her something for free. Or really cheap. She knew it was low, but she'd do anything to make sure her baby was born healthy. Anything.

_I just have to laugh to keep from crying_

_I just have to laugh to keep from crying_

Out here in the real world she didn't have the money to buy the necessaties for her baby. It hurt her to know she was incapable of taking care of it properly outside of the mansion. She knew she relied on that place too much, but being a mutant, you almost had to. The mansion was the safest place a mutant could be. Sure it was attacked by Stryker's men, but that was the first time, and hopefully the last, the mansion was ever attacked. She doubted it'd be the last, but she'd still know her child was in good hands. She was in good hands. Until she fled from the place, giving the lame excuse that she had to find herself.

It was such a good excuse, she almost bought it. But now, now she knew she was running away from the thing that frightened her. That hurt her. Logan. The thought of not fully being with him hurt and frightened her more than she could have ever imagined. But now, the fact that she was carrying his baby scared her even more. Would he be happy to hear the news? Would he run from it like he had with so many other things? These questions made her fear grow all the more and she was leaning more towards not saying anything to him.

But she knew she couldn't do that. The guilt would become too strong and eventually she'd break down and tell him. And she knew she wouldn't be able to look at her child without seeing him in it's eyes. She started wondering what gender it was. She was slightly hoping for a boy. A smaller version of Logan. She couldn't help but smile at the cuteness of that thought. A girl would be cute too. If Logan agreed to being the father of his baby, she could just imagine how protective Logan would be with their little girl. Especially when she wasn't so little anymore and started going on dates. Rogue laughed at the idea; imagining it all in her head.

Oh, how she'd love to watch her baby grow up around it's father. How much fun it would be to sit back at watch them play in the lawn, or lean against the doorframe to it's bedroom; listening as Logan read it a bedtime story. Ugh, when the baby got bigger she was going to see what sex it was so she could stop calling the baby 'it'. That was on the top of her things to do for the baby. That and, again, make sure she remained healthy to insure the baby would be healthy as well.

_I don't have a dime_

_Oh, to buy those pretty things_

_But I hear all the evidence_

_You know it sounds the same_

Rogue pulled into the parking lot of an old motel. She checked in and stepped into the room she was given. It was a grungy looking place, but it was better and had to be more comfortable than her car. Most nights she slept in the back seat of her car and hardly got a good night's sleep, but now with the baby she decided a motel would be much more appropriate if she were to get a decent night's sleep.

She set her suitcase down at the foot of the bed and sat down, tucking the suitcase behind her lets, still holding onto the handle. She scanned the room and crinkled her nose in disgust. She was beginning to wonder if the room itself was healthy. The once white walls where now a yellowish brown color from water stains... and other stains. She was almost afraid to go near the walls. The carpet had things inbedded in it and she knew right then she wasn't going to walk around the place barefoot.

She layed back on the bed and repostioned herself in an attempt to find a spot where there weren't springs digging into her flesh. She failed miserabley and gave in to sitting up again. She looked behind her and noticed an old off-white colored phone resting on a nightstand by the bed. She looked at her watch and then at the phone; debating on whether she should call Logan now. She knew it was late, but she also knew she had to call him. So with the final decision in mind, she crawled across the bed, picked up the receiver and dialed the number once again to the mansion in Westchester.

_But I'm still waiting_

_I've got my hands open wide_

_You know my dream isn't fading_

_I keep it hidden inside_

_Oh, I just have to laugh to keep from crying_

_I just have to try_


	13. I Just Called To Say Goodbye

**A/N: Here's the next chapter and I didn't even make you wait as long as last time. I hope you all enjoy it. I had fun writing it. So here ya go. And thanks again for your reviews! grins**

**I Just Called to Say Goodbye**

_(by: Terri Clark)_

Rogue once again listened to the ringing while she waited for the Professor to pick up the phone. She could feel her heart beat quicken and the pounding in her ears grew louder. She was extremely nervous about the talk to come with Logan and about telling the Professor the news.

"Good evening, Rogue." She heard the Professor say. She hadn't even heard him pick up the phone; she was too lost in thought.

"Hello, Professor." Rogue said with a sigh.

"What is it, Rogue?" He asked after hearing her sigh.

"I need your advice on something." Rogue replied.

"Alright." Was all he said while he waited for her to continue.

"It's about the doctor's appointment I had," Rogue started, "I didn't have the stomach flu."

"Uh huh." The professor said in a tone telling her he already knew that.

"Professor, I..." Rogue wasn't quite sure how to tell him, "I'm pregnant. With Logan's baby."

"I see. And you want to know if you should tell him." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. I don't want to, because it'll ruin his marriage with Sherri, but he does have the right to know." Rogue explained.

"Well, I can't tell you whether you should tell him or not." the Professor began, "All I can do is tell you to do what you think is right."

"I was afraid you were going to say that." Rogue mumbled as she slumped her shoulders.

"Let me transfer you to his room and while you're talking to him, then you can decide whether you want to tell him." Rogue could hear the Professor was hiding something but knew if she asked he would just wave it off as nothing.

"Alright. Thank you professor." Rogue sighed.

"Your welcome, Rogue." He replied before she heard a click and the phone began ringing again. She gulped as she awaited to hear Logan's gruff voice.

"This had better be good, bub." She heard Logan growl and she couldn't help but smile.

"Hello, Logan." She replied.

"Marie!" Logan exclaimed. He couldn't believe his ears.

"Yeah, it's me." Rogue said softly with a small smile on her lips. She missed the sound of his voice and it was good to hear it again.

"Is everything okay? Are you hurt?" Rogue could hear the confusion in his voice as to why she was calling, and personally, she wasn't real sure herself.

"No, no, no. I'm fine." Rogue replied as she sat on the bed with her legs tucked under her as she leaned against the wall.

"Where are you?" Logan asked. He needed to know. It just killed him not knowing where she was. Just that she was somewhere other than with him.

"I'm in Colorado." The phone line went silent for a moment and she held her breath; waiting for something, anything.

When he didn't say anything, Rogue spoke up again. "I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner, I really am, but I knew you'd talk me out of leaving. Even though I was on the road." She was debating on whether to tell him or not. She still wasn't sure.

"Marie, why did you call?" Logan asked and she could've sworn she heard bitterness in his voice.

She furrowed her brow in anger at his tone of voice before answering him, "I just called to say goodbye."

_Boy, I didn't mean to wake you_

_I'm okay, yeah, everything's alright_

_I'm in a phone booth outside of Denver_

_I drove all night_

_Well I would've called you sooner_

_But I knew you'd talk me out of this_

_Had alot of miles to do some thinkin'_

_And now it all makes perfect sense_

_No I haven't changed my mind_

_I just called to say goodbye_

"Marie, no. No goodbyes. Goodbyes are permanent." Logan replied in a low growl.

"I know Logan. That's the whole point." Rogue replied, allowing her bitterness to flow through her voice, just as he'd done to her.

"Marie..." Logan began but was stopped short by the sound of Rogue's voice.

"You should really see it here, Logan. It's beautiful." Rogue interrupted as she got up off the bed, picking the phone up off the nightstand, and walked to the window, pulling back the curtain to watch the sunrise over the mountains. She knew he was going to tell her to come home, and she really didn't want to hear it. She'd probably break down and tell him everything.

"Marie, what was the real reason you left?" Logan asked. He knew the reason she gave him was a facade.

"I had to get away, Logan," she started her explanation, "and the thought of having you, but not fully having you was killing me inside. I had to leave. I guess I ran. A little bit of you I still have in me, I guess."

"Come home." Logan demanded.

"No. I can't, Logan." She wasn't sure why she had said it. She knew she needed to go back to the mansion, but that didn't mean she couldn't fight it.

"Marie, listen to me. There's was something I tried telling you, but you left before I could."

"Logan, no. I don't want to hear what you have to say. Whatever it is, it's just a way for you to try and get me to go back. And I'm not doing that, so you might as well give up." Rogue shot back. She really didn't want to hear what he wanted to tell her. It would be too much.

With a heavy sigh, Logan spoke up, "what's the real reason you called, Marie?"

"I told you. To say goodbye." Rogue answered.

"That's bullshit, Marie." Logan growled.

"Maybe. But it's the truth." Rogue replied as she sat back on the bed and layed back.

_You should see this mountain sunrise_

_It looks just the way I dreamed_

_Got my map of Colorado_

_In the seat right next to me_

_If it's not packed in this ol' plymouth_

_It's better left behind_

_I just called to say goodbye_

"Logan, I miss you. God, I miss you so much, but it doesn't hurt as bad here as it did there. You were so close to me, but so far away and I couldn't take it anymore." Rogue tried changing the subject. She didn't want to tell Logan the real reason she was calling, not yet at any rate.

"Marie, I miss you too. Come home." Logan demanded of her again.

"No." Rogue replied, her voice not faltering.

"Come home." Logan demanded again.

"No." Rogue gave the same reply, only this time her voice was shakey. She could feel tears building up behind her eyes.

"Come home." Logan demanded one last time.

"No." This time it came out as a whisper and Rogue closed her eyes shut tight; squeezing out the tears that filled her eyes.

"Marie..." Logan whispered her name and Rogue had to fight back the urge to pour her heart out to him.

"Logan. Please, don't do this." Rogue pleaded, but she knew it was useless.

"Do what?" Logan asked gruffly. Boy, that sounded awfully familiar.

"You have no idea what this is doing to me." Rogue whispered as she draped an arm over her eyes.

"Actually, I do." Logan replied.

"No. No, you_ really _don't." Rogue said with a laugh.

"So, tell me."

"I want to. God knows I do. But I'm not sure I can." Rogue's lower jaw was now trembling as she tried to fight back the tears.

"Yes, you can. Tell me." Logan replied.

"I can't, Logan. It hurts too much."

_Boy, you know I'm gonna miss you_

_But we both know it's for the best_

_We just can't keep using each other_

_As a safety net_

_I bet someday you're gonna thank me_

_When you finally get a taste of true love_

_Baby what we had was pretty good_

_Just not enough_

_So here's to tears we'll never cry_

_I just called to say goodbye_

"Marie, I love you. You can tell me." Throughout the whole conversation, Logan had tried to find the right oppurtunity to tell her about him and Sherri but everytime he thought he found one, she would interrupt him.

"I love you, too, Logan. But I'm not sure I can tell you. I'm not strong enough. And I'm scared." She cried the last words out. It was true. She was terrified at how Logan would react to finding out she was pregnant with his baby. It scared her more than death itself.

"Scared of what?" Logan asked confused. What could she possibly have to tell him that would scare her? Was she scared of him?

"How you'll react." She answered.

"Baby, you should know that you can tell me anything and not have to be afraid." Logan reassured her, or so he thought.

"Yes, but nothing like this." Rogue whispered.

"Marie..."

"I can't. Not yet. I need more time." Rogue responded and it was true. She did need more time. Hell, she just found out the same day that she was pregnant. The day was bringing on too much and she needed some time to clear out her head so when the time came to tell him she would be stronger physically and mentally.

It was silent for a moment, neither one knowing really what to say. Logan knew this was probably the perfect oppurtunity to tell her but for some reason his mouth felt glued shut.

Panic rose in his chest when she spoke up, "goodbye, Logan."

"Marie, wait!" He exclaimed, almost jumping out of the bed.

"Goodbye, Logan." She said again.

"Marie, we're not together anymore." Logan said quickly.

He waited for a response and if it weren't for his hightened sense of hearing, he would've thought she hung up, but he could still her soft breathing.

"What?" She asked slowly after registering what he had said.

"Sherri and I... we're no longer together. I told her everything about you and me and she understood. In fact she was happy about it." Logan explained.

Rogue wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't sure if this made things a whole lot easier or harder. She could go back and be with him, but it somehow didn't feel right.

"Marie... say something." Logan begged and she could hear it in his voice. The suspense was killing him.

"I... I have to go." Rogue mumbled as she looked around the room for nothing in particular.

"Marie, wait." Logan begged.

"I have to think!" Rogue screamed. She hadn't meant to yell at him, but her mind was mess and she couldn't really think straight.

"Marie." Logan said her name again.

"Bye, Logan." Rogue said as if she hadn't heard her name. Logan heard the click on her end but noted she only said 'bye', not goodbye. So maybe. Maybe he would hear back from her. God, he hoped so.

_You should this mountain sunrise_

_It looks just the way I dreamed_

_Got my map of Colorado_

_In the seat right next to me_

_If it ain't packed in this ol' plymouth_

_It's better left behind_

_I just called to say goodbye_


End file.
